MR SPOOF
by xxgldxx
Summary: A Spoof on the Maximum Ride books. Where all the characters are out of control and things don't always go the way James Patterson wrote them..... read more inside.
1. Chapter 1 The Angel Experiment

Maximum Ride SPOOF!

A/N: THis is probably going to be the longest authors note your ever going to read! The other day I was sitting in school and suddenly I was like. WOAH has any ever done just a HUGE spoof on MR? Like starting with the Angel Experiment and continuing? So after thinking it over I realized I'd never seen one here! OMG so i decided to start one! Hopefully I'll be able to post often, but school really interferes with these things! So I'll try my best and (hopefully) I'll have a few chapters ready in advance, just incase school gets crazy! Don't steal my idea sorry if any of you have something similar I didn't try to copy it!! And please remember this is a spoof  and everything is either in the extreme or not true. (And the real books are waaaaay better then this!) Oh and if no one likes this I won't continue onto the next books. So read and enjoy! :)

DISCLAIMER~ I'm not nor will I ever be James Patterson!!

The Angel Experiment~

Chapter One~ Contains MR chapters: prologue to 12.

**Somewhere?**

Max: Congrats! Since your reading this it means you could survive till your next birthday!

Fang: Or not...

Max: *glares at Fang* This is a story of me my family an-

Angel: *Bambi eyes* Can we go to Sea World?

Nudge: I LOVE SEA WORLD! IT'S GOT SEA STUFF, AND IT'S ALL BLUE AND THEY HAVE FISHIES THERE AND DOLPHINS, WHALE-

Gazzy: *holds dead thing up* LOOK A WEASEL, MAX!!

Max: ARGHHH! That's it never mind I'll skip the prologue!

**THE E- HOUSE Colorado **

(Max is asleep having a nightmare, while the Flock sleeps.)

~In Max's dream~

Max: AHHH! STOP CHASING ME!

Eraser: But we're playing tag. Isn't that the point?

Max: Ohhh

Eraser: *pulls out gun* See if I hit you with this then you're it.

Max: *jumps off cliff and flies away*

~In the real world~

Max: *wakes up screaming* I have to give my subconscious a pep talk!

(Anyways the flock lives in this perilously dangerous E shaped house that hangs off a cliff! They're all so daring! Anyways lets catch up with Max who is in the kitchen now! Trying to cook. *Gasp* Is she crazy!)

Max: Morning Gazzy!

Gazzy: *looks over at Max* Are YOU cooking.

Max: Possibly

Gazzy: *Gags and falls over*

Iggy: *Walks in and plops onto couch, which breaks under his immense weight*

Max: Hey Ig rise and shine!

Iggy: BITE ME!

Max: FINE MISS MY WONDERFULLY PREPARED BREAKFAST MEAL!!

Fang: *appears out of nowhere behind Max*

Max: *jumps and smashes head on ceiling* QUIT THAT!

Fang: Quit what, breathing?

Max: *uses sarcasm* Yes Fang breathing.

Fang: Okay. *Fang stops breathing*

Max: *goes to wake up the rest of this dysfunctional and insane family* OKAY GUYS WAKEY, WAKEY!

Nudge: ... *walks out of room*

Angel: Hey Max! What are we doing today?

Max: Uhhh... Living?

Angel: Okay! That sounds like fun! *runs off to kitchen*

~At the kitchen table~

Angel: *using her cute abilities* I want to pick strawberries today!

Gazzy: *frowns* Today's the day me and Iggy shoot squirrels out of trees, and blow up the forest with our bomb, called DSAEE! It stands for Destroy Squirrels and Everything Else!

Iggy: Gaz that was a secret.

Gazzy: Oh

Max: A WHAT!

Nudge: Well I agree with Angel we should go pick strawberries! Because we could make a cake and then we could eat it or we could make strawberry smoothies or yogurt, or maybe that other strawberry stuff. Like strawberry syrup! I mean how do they make that stuff? Do they squeeze strawberries till they explode and it makes syrup? Or is it one of those funny things were they use chemically induced toxins to make a yummy tasting drink?

Iggy: ... I think it's the second one.

**A Strawberry Field!**

(The flock is picking some strawberries for toxic products!)

Nudge: See isn't this fun! It's not like some big hairy mutant bear things are going to attack the five of us anytime soon!

Erasers: *Jump in from behind a bush* AHHAAA SO YOU KNEW OF OUR EVIL PLOT!

Gazzy: WOAH! How did you all fit behind that bush?! THAT WAS SO COOL!

Erasers: O_o Well we're going to put that behind us. WE'VE COME TO STEAL THE SMALL BLOND GIRL!

Angel: Well you'd better have some strawberries with you!

Erasers: Uhhh...Why.

Angel: Cause I'm making a cake!

Erasers: Well DUH! We have plenty of strawberries don't worry little girl!

Angel: Okay! *Jumps onto helicopter with Erasers*

Max: *falls to knees* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gazzy: *overdramatic* THEY TOOK MY SISTER!

**The E-House**

Max: We need a plan!

Iggy: Where's Fang?

Gazzy: OH! I saw him on the floor before! He was turning blue it was really cool!

Max: Okay then CPR time! Iggy go take care of that!

Iggy: WAIT WHAT! *dragged off by Gazzy*

Max: WEll Nudge when Fang wakes up we're going to make a break for it! So grab all your stuff because we're going to ditch the blind kid and Mr. Farts A-Lot!

Nudge: Okay, I'll got pack away my designer clothes in my backpack!

Max: NUDGE FANG'S UP, RUN!

(Nudge, Max and Fang ditch Iggy and Gazzy to go save Angel!)

NEXT TIME! FANG, NUGDE AND MAX JOURNEY INTO THE UNKNOWN!

Hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter maybe a little late my health teacher is giving me a robot baby for the weekend.....

~Gabby


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Hey this going to be short a short Authors Note I PROMISE! So obviously half of that never happened! Go me for inventing random events! Some of it is still true to the book. Kind of.. Oh I survived Robo- Baby! I named him Joel and by Sunday night he had driven me insane!

DISCLAIMER~ I don't own Maximum Ride... the tissues section on Wikipedia, DDR, or Star Wars (The Force).

Chapter Two~ Contains MR chapter: 12 to 47

**In The Air With The Freaks! **

Max: So I figure Iggy and Gazzy are probably mad...

**Back At The E-House**

Gazzy: Let's destroy their stuff!

Iggy:*War cry*

**Back In The Air With The Freaks **

Fang: Yeah...

Nudge: Nooo, they love us they'd never do anything to hurt us, you guys.

**Back At The E-House**

Iggy: LET'S GO HURT THEM!

Gazzy: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

**In The Air**

Fang, Max, Nudge: Yeah........

(SILENCE)

Nudge: *to Fang*I think sometime in the near future after Max ditches us for cookies, then I'll ditch you to go find my mom.

Fang: That sounds great!

**Angel And The Erasers!**

Angel: You lied! These are cranberries!

Eraser: Sooo...

Angel: *freaks out* NOBODY LIKES CRANBERRIES!

Eraser: LEAVE ME ALONE! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!

Angel: Really?

Eraser: Yeah, I've always wanted to be a Japanese fisherman.

Angel: Awwww, really. Why aren't you?

Eraser:*wails* Because I'm not Japanese!

**In The Air**

Nudge: Look! A cabin! Can we stay there! Cause if we can't I'm going to explain to you why they put lotion on some tissues!

Max: Nudge we don't have time to stop!

Nudge: Facial tissue refers to a class of soft, absorbent, disposable paper that is suitable for use on the face. The term is commonly used to refer to the type of facial tissue, usually sold in boxes, that is designed to facilitate the expulsion of nasal mucus from the nose although it may refer to other types of facial tissues including napkins and wipe-

Fang: *screams in frustration* We're landing Nudge, SHUT UP!

~The Next Morning~

Nudge: Gosh! I wonder what Iggy and Gazzy are doing right now?

**Somewhere Near The E-House**

Gazzy: BLOW IT UP!

Iggy:*Hits the big red button on his bomb remote control*

(E-House bursts in a really big fireball.)

Gazzy:............. THAT WAS AWESOME!

Iggy: *in the air* COME ON WE HAVE SOME PEOPLE TO HURT!

**In the Air**

Max: Well Nudge I'm sure they're doing just fine. *Looks down at ground* *Heroic Voice*LOOK A GIRL IN TROUBLE! I MUST SAVE HER FROM HER TERRIBLE FATE!

Fang: Wait, WHAT! Don't be stupid! We're already to busy saving Angel from the sugar coated strawberry collecting, evil Erasers! (WOAH THAT SOUNDED MANLY!)

Max: NO! An innocent citizen is in danger! I must save them! And while I'm gone, you can work on your manliness. *spirals toward ground*

Nudge:*giggles* sugar coated strawberries...

**On The Ground With The "Innocent Citizen"**

Guy1: I told you to stop beating up the 5th graders, Ella!

Ella: WELL MAYBE I LIKE HURTING PEOPLE!

Guy2:*pulls gun* Well then were going to have to, settle this!

Guy3: DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!!!!!

Max: NO WAY THREE AGAINST ONE IS UNFAIR!

Guy1: Fine your on Ella's team.

(So Max and Ella danced their way to victory and shimmed all the way back to tell Ella's mom Dr. Martinez. And got a steaming plate of hot chocolate chip cookies for their good work!)

**In A Cave! **

Nudge: I'm hungry, cold, tired, and I want a fuzzy blanket that has my name on it and a bowl of soup wit-

Fang: *throws chunk of steaming meat at Nudge* Here have some frog legs!

Nudge:*screams* NO Way, GROSS!

Fang: Okay suit yourself.

Nudge:*jumps to her feet* Well I'm off to find my mom and then be disappointed be back in an hour!

Fang: Okay have fun. *waves goodbye to Nudge*

~Later~

Nudge:*depressed* I'm disappointed.

Fang: That's okay Nudge, Max should be coming back soon and maybe Iggy and Gazzy are still okay.

**An Hour Away From Nudge And Fang**

Iggy: So what's the plan!

Gazzy: I say we get their and we jump them and throw Fang into a lake!

Iggy: Why?

Gazzy: Cause Fang hates it when his hair is wet, DUH!

Iggy: Yeah... again why?

Gazzy: I guess it's because he gets it sooo perfect so all his fangirl's will think he's 'dark and mysterious' or something. So getting it messed up like that totally ruins his image!

Iggy: YES! HURT FANG'S REP.!

Gazzy: Do you think we have fangirls?

Iggy: No, because Fang stole them all.

Gazzy: Ohhhh...

**Back With Fang, Nudge and The Cave!**

Fang: I sense someone is coming to hurt my hair!

Nudge: How can you tell?

Fang: I use the Force Nudge!

Nudge: WOAH, that's so cool!

Fang:*acts awesome* Yeah, I know.

**With Angel And The Not So Strawberries**

Angel: I'm upset

Eraser: Yeah

Angel:*surprised* Why are you upset?

Eraser: I don't have a name...

Angel: Awww... Well I'll think of one for you!

Eraser: Aww Shucks, you don't have to.

Angel:*shrugs* okay I won't.

Eraser: Wait I was kidding!

NEXT TIME! GAZZY AND IGGY ATTACK THE FLOCK! MAX RETURNS AND MORE!

Hey if you guys have any questions or ideas send them to me :)

~Gabby


	3. Chapter 3

A/N AHHHH SO I checked my email and there was like a ton of reviews and alerts! *squeals* That made me sooo happy! And April Break is only in a week! Oh and I don't know when I'll have time to post ch4 next week because I don't think I'll be home... But that's okay, I'll figure it out! Thanks to all the reviewers (I love, love, love reviews!) and here's the third chapter this takes us about halfway through the book :)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride and I never will :( I also do not own: ATM's, the Jonas Brothers, or Grand Theft Auto!

Chapter Three~ Contains MR chapters: 47 to 56

**In A Cave!**

Nudge: I'm worried...

Fang: I'm Emo!

Nudge: No! that's not whatI meant!

Fang: okay, so what do you mean

Nudge: Well we haven't se-

Fang:*yells in pain, while being tackled*

Gazzy: We have come to destroy, your hair!

Iggy: YES! And along with it your rep.

Fang: No!! I need both of those!

Nudge: Wait, what about me?

Gazzy: Your not important enough to hurt!

Nudge:*GASP* WHAT!

**Outside The Cave!**

(So Max is just arriving at this little heartwarming moment. And she's not happy.)

**Inside The Cave!**

Max: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS DOING TO FANG!

Gazzy:*innocently* throwing him into a lake.

Max: Oh okay! And after that I brought cookies for you! *looks around* Well I had cookies! I must of eaten them on the way here.

Iggy: YOU PIG! COUGH UP THE COOKIES!

Nudge: I love our family.

~later~

Max: So we need a plan

Gazzy: Yeah a good plan!

Max: Oh, No! You two are going home!

Iggy: Well about that...*has flashback of blowing up E-house*

Fang: What happened to the house?

Gazzy: WELL THERE WERE ALL THESE ERASERS AND THEY LIKE TRIED TO KILL US SO WE HAD TO BLOW UP THE PLACE!

Eraser: Hey man that's not cool blaming stuff on us!

Nudge:*blinks* Ummm... Who are you?!

Eraser: IDK *walks off*

Iggy: Soooo... that was weird! On to save Angel?

Max: ON TO SAVE ANGEL!

**On The Road Again (Kind Of)**

(So the flock is totally on their way to save Angel now, because how the heck can a little girl survive on cranberries, I mean EWWW)

Max: So I think we use Fang as a distraction and then we sneak in and steal Angel, back!

Fang: Wait, how am I distracting them.

Max: Well you could dance, you've always been bad at dancing.

Rest of the flock: Mhmmmm.

Iggy: Yeah, I remember that time when we were in Vegas and he though-

Fang:*going red* Iggy this is not the time!

Nudge: Hey Ig, guess what Fang said before!

Iggy: I bet it was something hilarious that we can all hold against him.

Nudge: YEP! He was all like, 'we must save Angel from the sugar coated strawberry collecting, evil erasers'

Fang: I did not say that.

Nudge:*hands on hips* WHAT DID YOU SAY THEN?

Fang: I write depressing poetry and sing it after midnight!

Gazzy:*eyes wide* Max, I want a new brother!

Iggy: LOOK AN ATM!

Nudge: You can't see Ig!

Iggy: I can see cash!

Max: QUICK TO THE ATM!

**In Bushes Near The ATM!**

Fang:*whispers* Look some guy put a card inside it and left...

Max: Iggy go type the password!

Iggy: Okay

(Iggy casually walks over to the ATM and starts pressing buttons.)

Nudge: Hey he's not typing in the password!

Max: Are you sure?

Nudge: Yeah! He's making it play the music to the Jonas Brothers latest hit!

Fang:*makes face* I HATE THE JO BROS!

Max: I know I do to!

Nudge:*sings* OoOoO This is an S.O.S. don't wanna second gues-

Iggy:*walks over* I GOT CASH!

Fang: The pin was S.O.S.?

Iggy: Well, duh everyone loves them!

Max:*rolls eyes* OKAY MOVING ON!

**In A Parking Lot! **

(The flock has decided they need some wheels. So they've stopped by a parking lot to play a little Grand Theft Auto!)

Max: Are you sure this is okay Gazzy?

Gazzy: WELL, DUH! I steal cars all the time.

Fang:*blinks in surprise* You do?

Gazzy: Well yeah. Don't you play Grand Theft Auto Fang? I hear it's popular with kids.

(After stealing their car the flock decides on who will drive it.)

Max: I say we take a fair democratic vote, between me, Fang and Ig who do you think should drive?

Nudge: Well I don't know! I vote Ig.

Max: Why he's blind!

Nudge: yeah, but it'll make it more interesting!

Gazzy: YEAH, LIKE WE COULD DIE OR SOMETHING! I vote Ig too!

Fang: I vote me.

Max: *facepalm* you can't vote yourself!

Fang: I'm awesome and I say I can!

Max: Fine then I vote me! *laughs evilly* I win!

Iggy: No way I won!

Max: No I got eight votes you got two!

Fang: Who voted for you? You and all your split personalities?

Max: No I get more votes because I'm leader!

Nudge:*whines* how's that fair or democratic?

Max: OH did I say democratic I meant MAXocratic

Gazzy: What's that mean?

Fang: It means Miss. Leader always wins.

Max: WHO'S AWESOME NOW!

Fang/Iggy:*Facepalm*

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK EATS FAST FOOD AND MAX REGAINS HER SMARTS AND REALIZES SHE CAN"T DRIVE!

sorry this is so blah people, The next one will be better. :)

~Gabby


	4. Chapter 4

A/N So I had just walked home from my cousins in the 25 degree weather when I wrote the end to this so hopefully it's okay! (Note: I wrote these chapters months ago today it's like 85 :) Plus my parents got back from vacation Im back from my aunts and I can write again thanks for waiting!)

DISCLAIMER~ I don't own Maximum Ride. :( The Power Puff Girls, Twilight and lots of other stuff......

Chapter Four~ Contains MR chapters: 56 to 67

**At A Fast Food Place!**

Nudge: I'll have one-hundred and twenty three cheese burgers, with six order of french fries and and extra-extra-extra-extra LARGE chocolate milkshake! Oh and can I get a one pack of apple dippers with that. Because I have to eat something healthy, today!

Max: Nudge why one-hundred and twenty three cheese burgers?

Nudge: Because one-hundred and twenty three is my favorite number!

Max: Okay, whatever. I'll have eight-thousand six-hundred and thirty four cheeseburgers, twelve orders of fries and eighteen milkshakes extra large please. Because unlike my friend I'm not dieting.

Nudge:*smiles* I'm hoping to lose two pounds!

Cashier: Bob we have a problem. Shut down the drive through and grease up those french friers!

Iggy: I'll have eleven-thousand seven-hundred and two hamburgers with no pickles hold the mustered extra ketchup and those onion things. Oh and some fries like I don't know eighty six orders of fries and to wrap it all up forty one milkshakes extra large!

Gazzy: I'll have the same as Ig except I want lots of mustered no ketchup and eight pickles on each one.

Fang: I'll have a soda.

Flock (excluding Fang) : *GASP*

Nudge: Why so little food Fang? Are you sick?

Fang: No I ate three roasted cactus and twelve desert rats on the way over.

Everyone: Ohhhh

Max: *whispers to Nudge* that's because he thinks he's hard core. But I hear him sing the Power Puff Girl's Theme Song every once and awhile.

Nudge:*giggles*

~After Eating~

Nudge: ZOMG! ERASERS!

Max: RUN TO THE CAR I DRIVE!

(The flock all jams themselves into the van. And Max realizes something.)

Max: HEY I CAN'T DRIVE!

Fang: Okay hold on a sec. *gets out of car* Hey you guys we need about ten minutes while I teach Max to drive.

Erasers: Oh, that's okay we'll go get some grub and be back in a few minutes.

Fang: Thanks, dudes.

~10 minutes later~

Max:*whines* The car chase is up next and I still don't know how to drive.

Iggy: Just wing it.

Fang: That was corny.

Gazzy: I love corn!

Nudge: I know!

~Car chase begins!~

(Rev up your engines because your in for a wild ride!)

Max: .... WHERE'S THE GAS AGAIN!

(Just give her a second I'm sure she'll figure it out...)

Max:............... WAIT WHAT'S THIS SHIFT THING FOR?

(*laughs nervously* she's getting it)

Max:*head slams into steering wheel* I HATE DRIVING!

**At The School! **

Max: Your dead.

Jeb: I am? Wow how'd you die Max?

Max: NOOOO, you're dead not me!

Jeb: You sure?

Max: Almost positive.

Jeb: But you're the one trapped in a lab filled with cranberries!

Max: YOU OWN THE LAB!

Fang: WE'VE GOT ANGEL RUN!

~Flock escapes school~

**Back At That Cave Near That Lake**

Angel:*collapses on ground* I thought I'd never see you guys again!

Max: I would _never _quit trying to get you back. They'd have to kill me first.

Angel: They almost did!

Iggy: WELL IT'S A SHAME THEY DIDN'T!

Max: WHAT!

Iggy: YOUR ALL JUST SO ANNOYING! Who loves strawberries and evil scientists this much! I'm sorry but I'm leaving!

Fang: Where are you going to go?

Iggy: Forks, Washington!

Nudge: Why?

Iggy: BECAUSE THE CULLENS LIVE THERE!!!

Gazzy: Iggy's gone crazy! I want another new brother!

~Later~

Fang: We need a new home!

Max: WHY! I LOVE EATING DEAD ANIMALS!

Fang: O_o Well you know umm it just seemed like a good idea...

Max: NO THE PLOT SAYS WE GO TO NEW YORK NEXT SO THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING MR.!!!

NEXT TIME! NEW YAWK NEW YAWK!! THE FLOCK HEADS TOWARDS A BIG CITY, ONLY EVERYTHING CAN GO WRONG!

~Gabby


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Uggh I'm taking a break from my oragami english project to post this. FRiday I had the coolest history class! We played trench warfare. LOL It was the best our history teacher is a nutcase :) BUt with finals coming up things are getting crazy :(

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Maximum Ride... Apple Mac computers, NYC, Tylenol, Ouija boards or poodles!

Chapter Five~ Contains MR chapters: 67 to 111

(The flock flies through beautiful blue skies on their way to New York. While the older flock members fly silently and the younger ones complain and talk!)

Nudge: Flying is just awesome.

Max: Mhhhmm, it is gre- *has seizure, falls from from sky*

Fang: Whoa, do you think I should catch her?

Flock: Nahhh...

Nudge: She's like spiraling towards the ground in sloooooooo-moooooooo it's sooo cool!

Gazzy:*nods* Yeah!

Angel: Maybe you should go be the dashing hero now and go catch her, Fang.

Fang:*sighs* I guess so *dives toward Max*

~A day later~

(So Max now gets some killer headaches, so they just threw some Tylenol at her and told her to deal. Now Angel has important news.)

Angel:*creepy voice* We all had human mothers guys.

Flock:*frozen state of shock*

Angel: you know the birds and the bees and th-

Max:LALALALALALAL! Okay yep we get it thanks for the info Angel!

(So you know the rest the flock discuss their parents, Fang goes all emo and decides his mom was a crack addict and then they all go to bed.)

Max:*killer brain attack!* *throws up*

Angel: Are you sure your okay.

Max: Yeah I'm fine.

Angel: I mean your like barfing your guts up so that can't be good...

Max: God! Let's just go to New York!

**NYC!**

Nudge: LOOK EXPENSIVE STUFF! *runs off*

Gazzy: SHINY!! *runs off*

Angel: A TEDDY BEAR!! SHE'S AN ANGEL JUST LIKE ME! *skips away*

Fang: concert... *leaves*

Iggy: honey-roasted peanuts...*runs to vendor*

Max: WAIT WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING! *distracted* O_o poodles...

**With The Homeless Peeps!**

Fang: So I hear your homeless

Guy: Yeah...

Fang: That's rough man...

Nudge: Did you know the third rail will turn you into human popcorn, Mr.! I mean how gross is that! No one wants to eat human popcorn unless it had like butter on it then maybe, but not without butter!

Guy:Yeah*backs away*

Gazzy:Do you want a burrito? It's Spanish!

Lady:*looks at Gazzy weird* no I'm good kid.

Geek: Who's messing with my Mac?

Max: That would be my crazy computer chip imbedded in my arm. It takes out computers, radios and military aircrafts! As an added bonus the voice in your head will tell you fortune cookie crap all day! All this and more for just two payments of 19.99!

Geek: ..................

**At A Really Big Toy Store!**

Board Game: SAVE THE WORLD, MAX!

Max:*screams* FANG AN OUIJA BOARD JUST TOLD ME TO SAVE THE WORLD!

Fang:*mumbles* great now I'll have to sign her up for therapy, again.

**In A Church!**

Nudge:*exited* I've never been to a church before I bet it's exciting!

~Two minutes Later~

Nudge: there's no rides! or candy! What's wrong with this place it's not fun!

Fang: People pray here Nudge, it's not a carnival.

Nudge: Well the name sounded fun...

**Back On The Streets!**

Tree: YO MAX I GOT A BANK CARD FOR YOU!

Max: Awesome!

~Bank~

Max: *typing* 14, 11, 8, 6

ATM: WRONG

Max: *typing* password

ATM: WRONG DUMMY!! SHUTTING DOWN!

Max: ARGGGGGGHHHHHH

**Near The Institute **

Nudge: I bet it's a cool place!

Fang: Yeah! Where sugar plums and gumdrops grow and fairies roam free through flowery meadows!

Max:........ Yeah sure Fang.

Iggy: Or it's a place were they torture small children and slowly, but surely plot to end the world.

Angel:..........

Max: Ig are you depressed?

Iggy: Who me, NAH.

**Inside The Institute!**

Secretary: I hate kids get out.

Max: Okay.

**Outside The Institute!**

Fang: So they weren't hiding anything.

Nudge: I know it's so weird. Unless they have a secret underground base that can only be reached by traveling through the sewers and stepping on rats.

Max: That's unlikely!

Gazzy:*plops down onto curb* GAZZY WANT SNACKAGE!

Max: okay lets go eat!

**At A Fancy Overcrowded Restaurant! **

Fang: I'd like some road kill, well done over a smokey camp fire.

Waiter: Uhhhhh....

Max: OoOoOoO that sounds good Fang! I'll have what he gets!

Gazzy: I want baked Alaska!

Angel: Whatever's the most expensive!

Nudge: ME TOO!

Iggy: That pasta thing with the noodles and the sauce.

Waiter: okay your order will be ready in a few minutes.

**(**So the waiter goes behind the scenes calls his manager and is all like 'Dude there's a bunch a psycho kids out there ordering road kill.' So the manager gets all huffed up and comes out to blow some hot air at the flock.)

Max: AHHH an adult run for your lives!

Manager: Your ordering some odd food there youngins..**.**

Fang: THROUGH THE ROOF!

(The flock smashes through the glass roof and ruins a great fancy restaurant and Max douses some guy with olive oil, so it's all good.)

**Some Place With Trees!**

Max: Gazzy that was totally your fault!!

Gazzy: I know! And I'm not sorry! BECAUSE I'M STILL HUNGRY!

Max: TO BAD! because the plot calls for Ari to come and attack us again!

Ari: Hey!!!! I was supposed to have a bad line and introduce myself right there!

Max: Well I beat you cause I'm that awesome!

(Max and Ari argue over who's the awesomest, while the rest of the flock watches in horror as Angel's bear is almost taken away by Ari. Then the erasers have to leave because the Director is very strict and wants them to all go home and eat a family dinner of small mutants! Because she's just that thoughtful. The flock goes to bed all peaceful and stuff and the next day they get makeovers!)

**At The Killer Makeover Stand!**

Iggy: I need an AFRO!

Gazzy: ME TOO!

Max: NO! Your getting mohawks! And Fang is getting his ridiculously long hair buzzed off!(OMGZ have you guys seen his hair in the manga it's like 0_o)

Fang: AHHHH NOOOOOO NOT MY HAIR!!! IT'S A GIRL MAGNET!

~20 minutes later~

Fang: I am bald.......*goes into emo shock mode*

Nudge: I GOT SUPER COOL CLOTHES! That are all like awesome but it'll be bad when they get dirty from like another super bad fight with the erasers that are kind of like a cross between a bear a wolf and a dying cat don't you think Max?

Max:............

Angel: I wanted to get a tutu but Max said no so I also got some super cool clothes!

Iggy: Great!

Gazzy: My hair looks like it got hit with a taser!

NEXT TIME! ATTACK ON THE BEACH! FANG IS LIKE TOTALLY MAULED BY A BEAR THING!

~Gabby


	6. Chapter 6

A/N This is it guys the end of the end! (Not really) The Angel Experiment is over!!! I'm sooo fried and I still have to write the spoof for the 2nd book I'm only on chapter two.... -_- but school's almost over and then I can post more often (maybe) but for now enjoy the last chapter of The Angel Experiment! And I'll go finish my homework and write the spoof for the second book!!

DISCLAIMER: I really really don't own Maximum Ride... or Pizza Hut, Macs, or Kodak.

Chapter Six~ Contains MR chapters 111- Epilogue!!!!

**At A Beach With Sand And Crap! **

Max: Home Sweet home! *falls unconscious*

Fang: So I guess I'm taking first watch... watch out for our fearless leader's unconscious corpse, everyone!

~the next morning~

(The flock tries to look all normal and stuff, so they go swimming but nothing ever goes right for them!)

Angel: I'm going swimming!

Max: Don't drown and have an untimely death that wouldn't flow with the plot!

Angel: Don't worry I won't!

~A few minutes later~

Fang: I think Angel's trying to twist the plot again!

Iggy: SHE MUST BE DROWNING!

Flock-Angel: OMGZ!

(The flock freaks out and dives into the water to save Angel who's name ironically does not always fit her character!)

Angel: Guys I can totally breathe underwater now!

Max: o_0 well that's just great sweetie! Now you can't commit suicide by drowning.

Fang: *facepalm*

~the next morning~

Ari: I'm the awesomest hear me ROAR! *foot on Max's throat*

Max: Nuhhhhh uhhhhhh.... I'm the bestest!

Ari: Oh wait I had a cool line there let me go back and fix that... "Look who's come to the seashore."

Max: ...... Isn't it a little late for that?

Fang: GET OFF OF HER! *jumps Ari*

(he's very over protective...)

**WARNING INTENSE BATTLE SCENE!**

Fang: *pokes Ari*

Ari: *pokes Fang*

Fang: *smacks Ari*

Ari:*punches Fang*

Fang:*falls to the ground half dead*

Ari: LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU AND YOUR FLOCK MAX!

Max:*overdramatic* OH NO! NOT FANG.

Jeb: Do you understand now Max?

Max:*chokes back sobs* Understand what?

Jeb: That Pizza Hut is the better pizza maker!

Max: NOOOOO!! I'll never admit it!

Jeb: Fine whatever I'll be at the School when you want to admit it! Ari get over here! Leave the goth mutant alone!

(The baddies leave the scene. Then Max runs over to Fang worried and stuff.)

Fang: feel... like...crap...

Iggy: Don't worry Fang that was an insane poke fight, but you'll be okay.

Max:*kisses Fang*

Fang: Ow.....

Nudge/Gazzy: 0_o *the world is ending!*

Iggy: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!

Fang:*whoa Max just kissed me and .....* I'm going to kill Ari.

**In a subway aka home sweet home.**

Nudge: Are you okay Fang? Because your face looks awful it looks like you took sand paper and dragged it across your face and then jumped off a building with no wings and then you-

Fang: Thanks Nudge! I feel fine.

Max: You look like crap.

Fang: WTF $%#^&! *calm voice* Why thank you Max.

Max: Your wonderfully welcome!

(The flock falls asleep in their home for the night.)

Geek: YOUR SCREWING WITH MY MAC AGAIN!

Max: Whoa I'm sorry that the freaky chip in my arm is messing with your computer, but don't worry in book two I go suicidal and try to cut it out of my arm!

Geek: YOU MUST BE BEING TRACKED BY THE FBI!! I'M OUTTA HERE! *runs off*

Max: See ya wouldn't wanna be ya.

Fang: I can't take you anywhere! How are we going to date?

~Nighty Nighty time for the flock! Max's Dream~

Voice: *Irish voice* Ye Find a Pot O' Gol' Beneath A Rainbow Max!

Max: What?

~Real World Morning Time~

Max: Fang, We have to go in the sewers that's where they're hiding all mutants!

Nudge: HEY I SAID THAT BEFORE!

Fang: Okay let's go!

**In The Sewers, BLEH!**

Max: I sense that the baddies are hiding in that direction. *points left*

Iggy: I sense that fresh air is that way *points up*

Fang: I sense that this is getting stupid!

Nudge: LOOK A SECRET TRAP DOOR WITH A STAIRCASE THAT LEADS DOWN INTO THE INSTITUTE!

Gazzy: I say Max goes first! Just incase something is waiting to kill us!

Nudge: I second that cause my hair is just so nice and pretty since our extreme makeovers so-

Max: GOD! I'll go first! *walks down stairs*

**At The Bottom Of The Stairs Of Doom!**

Angel: A DOOR THAT LEADS TO THE INSIDE OF INSTITUTE... where I'll get my talking dog after I convince Fang of course...

Fang: What......

Angel: *innocent* nothing...

**On The Other Side Of The Door!**

Nudge: Okay we're inside the scary science building were they genetically modify peoples DNA!

Gazzy: Yeah but is that a good thing?

Iggy: Do you think they make like a genetically modified ice cream here?

Nudge: OoOoO that'd be sooo cool!! You could have lik-

Max: Okay guys I'm going to turn on the computer and search for our long lost parents who don't even know we exist anyway!

Computer: password?

Max: CRUD! I hate passwords!

Computer: password?

Nudge: Try that swear Fang said before!

Max: Okay *types* $%#^&!

Computer: logging in...

Max: OMGZ Nudge your so smart!

(So Nudge has new ability! She knows things now!)

Computer: Please search for what you want and leave...

Fang: Try typing in 'the freaky mutant children!'

Max: *types what Fang said*

Computer: 'freaky mutant children' aka the flock. Is currently bugging the crap out of me. Here are their secret files... printing now.

Max: Okay we got the files now lets go!

Gazzy: Hang on a second Max...

Iggy: Yeah there's another door over here.

Max:*opens door*

(freaky mutant children stare at Max. So we're just going to wrap this all up folks! Kids give Max Bambi Eyes Max frees all the mutant kids, and 'kills' Ari. And Angel gets a black dog she names Total! After she bugs Fang for it of course!)

Angel: *Bambi Eyes* Please!

Fang: NOOOOOO not the Bambi Eyes... must resist...

Angel: Please, look how cute and innocent I look! Look into my eyes you know you want me to have to dog!

Fang: AHHHHHHHH... you can have the dog

**In A Cave Thing! **

Max: So look at the papers be happy you have parents!

Iggy: Someone's jealous she doesn't have parents!

Max: ARE NOT!

Flock:...............

Max: Maybe just a little...

(Voice interrupts the flocks happy Kodak moment.)

Voice: Go to Washington D.C. Max.

Max: We're going to Washington D.C. guys!

Flock: To find our parents?

Max: Sure... Whatever makes you happy!

**Epilogue~ In The Air Again! **

Max: Well hey guys we made it through the whole book!

Gazzy: *breaks out in song* Go us we're awesome uh uh!

Angel: I learned a lot Max!

Max: Well that's nice! What'd you learn?

Angel: That manipulation and terror help people get their way!

Max: ummmmmm....

Nudge: I learned what Angel learned and she's soooo right I mean look what she did to Fang with the Bambi Eyes!

Iggy: Well I learned that Max and Fang have feeling for each other and it will be a constant theme for the rest of ever!

Fang: I've learned that Ari will always win poke fight and that Max luuuuvess me.

Max: *glares at Fang and Iggy* Well maybe next time we can actually learn something useful!

~End: The Angel Experiment

Thanks for reading this guys! I know talk about horrible endings eh!!-_- Watch out for the next chapter on School's Out-Forever and please review! I love reviews!

~Gabby :)


	7. Chapter 7 School's OutForever

Maximum Ride SPOOF 2!

A/N So this is now the second Maximum Ride book spoofed! It's School's Out-Forever! Because my little brother has been totally bugging me to mess around with the second book! I hope it's good as the first one! (yet again the real books are wayyyyyyyy better then finally I know everyone is wayyy OOC.... their supposed to be that way!) Oh and I'm way behind I need to keep writing cause I only have to chapters done of this 0_o

DISCLAIMER~ I'm not James Patterson... and I don't own Nick Jonas, Hannah Montana, President Obama,

School's Out-Forever~

Chapter One~ Contains MR chapters: 1 to 28

**In the Sky!**

Max: Being the freaks we are. We're on the run again!

Gazzy: OMFG aliens!

Aliens: TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER OR WE WILL KILL YOU!

Fang: THAT'S MAX TAKE MAX!

Max: WHAT THE HECK I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME!

Fang: ........not that much............

Nudge: Can we go to D.C. now?

Iggy: Yesssssss..

Max: *being taken away by aliens* I HATE ALL OF YOU! AND FANG YOUR UGLY!

Fang: *falls over and dies*

Angel: TO D.C.!!!!!

Total: *to Fang* you were never that hot anyways.....you won't be missed......

**With the Mutant Wolves (a.k.a. Ari)**

Ari: WHERE'S MY ICE CREAM????

Eraser #1: I don't know boss....

Ari: DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE?

Eraser #2: This horse says he knows where Max is!

Horse: What's up?

Ari: 0_o you talk?

Horse: DUH.....

Ari: Well Mr. Horse can you please tell us where Max is?

Horse: Okay my name is Sir Fredrick the 3rd and I will be called that at all times....

Ari: Right....... Where's Max?

Sir Fredrick the 3rd: On an alien space ship to Mars.

Ari: GOD DAMMIT! We were just there last week!

**In The Sky!**

(Max is back from her alien adventure, and Fang has risen from the dead. And it's time for Ari to show up!!)

Max: FLYING FRIDGES!

Ari: I'M NOT THAT FAT!

Fang: Yes, yes you are....

Max: SPLIT UP! FANG DROP TOTAL! He's always been annoying anyways!

Total: I'm not [insert a swear here] annoying! *Fang drops Total*

Angel: Oh well... Can I have a cat.

Nudge: No no you don't want a cat! Maybe something more easy to carry like a kola bear or a gold fish. I've always loved gold fish. We've had sooooo many Goldy, Swimmy, Fred, Bob, Midnight, Flounder, Tuna, Breakfast, Cookie, Goldy the 2nd, Fishy, Iggy Jr, Ham..... But they all died like over night. But Fang told me they all just ran off into the woods because they were scared of Iggy's face.....

Iggy: HEY!!

Fang: ...yeah don't worry Nudge all your fish are safe.... off hunting in the woods.....

~Flashback~

Fang: GAHHHHH ANOTHER ONE DIED!

Max: QUICK FLUSH IT BEFORE SHE NOTICES!!

Iggy: I'LL GET THE REPLACEMENT FISH!

~End Flashback~

Ari: The script says I'm supposed to attack you guys now.....

Gazzy: But.......

Ari: It's like past my bed time and Dad's going to kill me if I'm out late again.

Iggy: It's like two in the afternoon.....

Ari: SHUT UP! I HAVE STRICT PARENTS!

Max: No no don't worry about it we can totally fight another time!

Ari: OH, right I have to injure Fang before I go.

Fang: Okay......

Ari: *flies over to Fang and rips most of his internal organs out* Well that should do it...... See you guys later!

Flock: *waving* BYE ARI!

Fang: *falls out of the sky and crashes into the ground*

**On The Ground! **

Some Guy: Whoa! Were you like mauled by a bear?

Fang: Ughhhh.....

Some Guy: Or a really large rabid bunny attacked you......

**Hospital Time! **

Doctor: What the heck is this kids name?

Max: Nick as in you know Nick Jonas.

Nurse: 0_o I LOVE NICK JONAS!

Iggy: When he sings, he melts the hearts of millions of girls and shatters twice as many mirrors...

Gazzy: Yeah he really does....

Nudge: I remember that time he tried to sing and he curled his hair..... Max laughed so hard she started having seizures and we had to call the medics so we could get her some oxygen...

Iggy: She's never been the same......

Angel: OH YEAH I remember! That's the day Fang decided he was going to go emo/goth and he stopped talking in full sentences.

Doctor: Do you have video tapes of this incident?

Max: YEAH! Loads of them! Why?

Doctor: 0_o We may need them for medical purposes.

**Hospital Break Room! **

Nurse2: Have you seen this video yet?

Doctor: No I haven't. But I hear Steve passed out from lack of oxygen and they had to airlift him to England to find a lung specialist.

Nurse2: Yeah he's dead.......

Doctor: Well that's to bad......

**Silence**

Doctor: You still have the tape though, right?

Nurse2: Well we weren't going to throw it away! President Obama has already reserved a copy!

**Fang's Room! **

Max: Hey you look better!

Fang:...........

Max: Well we're going to go move in with a psycho lady! Her name is Anne!

Nudge: Yeah and I'm having a freaky feeling that in the next few chapters you're going to make Max really angry by going out with some extremely ugly red head girl...

Fang: Is she going to be jealous?

Nudge: Yes

Fang: My life's goal is complete!

Max: *whacks Fang's giant gaping side wound*

**The Crazy FBI Agent's House! **

Anne: So my home is like humungous!

Iggy: WOAH HOLY CRAP IT IS!

Max: Why do you do that?

Iggy: Does it bug you?

Max: Yes

Iggy: That's why....

Gazzy: I bet that Hannah Montana's house is this big!

Fang: Nope, it's bigger.

Nudge: How do you know her?

Fang: I dated her when we lived back in California at the School.... Please don't tell Max that...

Angel: Why?

Fang: She'd mock me for the rest of ever, that I dated a girl who is always having an identity crisis...

Nudge: I know Hannah needs to make up her mind, First she's Miley then she's Hannah. So now she's all like Hey ya'll I'm Miley, now I'm Hannah, Miley, Hannah, Miley, Hannah! I bet she doesn't even remember her really name anymore!!

Total: I hear she has movie coming out....... I was kind of hoping we could go............

Flock: ...............................................

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK ENCOUNTER SCHOOL, CLONES AND MORE!

Hmmm I think the first spoof might of been better.....

~Gabby


	8. Chapter 8

A/N OS I'm sooo very sorry sorry! I know it looks like I disappeared, but I have finals all week so I had to study! The good news is the year is almost over and everyday of finals is only a half day so I can write and post more often hopefully for now enjoy this really late spoof chapter!!

DISCLAIMER~ Still not a very rich man who lives in Florida...... I do not own Pirates of the Carribean, Batman, Jessica Alba, Weird Al, Star Wars, and prep school Barbie.

Chapter Two~ Contains MR chapters: 29 to 43

**The FBI Agent's House!**

(Max is in the bathroom after her first shower in fourteen years!!)

Iggy: Can I come in?

Max: *screams* NOOOOO!

Iggy: Listen Max I'm blind and anyways you're hideous to begin with, so we have nothing to worry about.

Fang: *runs in and beats Iggy to the ground* DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!

Max: AHHH I'M A WEREWOLF!! *howls at the full moon and runs into the woods*

Gazzy: Is it already time to vote for a new leader?

**Later!**

Fang: So I hear your a freak.......

Max: I get sudden urges to howl at the moon all the time now.

Fang: Don't we all.......

**The Pond Thing In Anne's Yard!**

Gazzy: *dives into the Pond from a million feet high*

Nudge: AHHHHH your going to crush me!

Gazzy: That was the plan!

Total: STOP THAT YOU CRAZY KIDS!

Max: OMFG TOTAL TALKS!

Angel: Well yeah, didn't you hear him at the end of chapter one?

Iggy: Nope the aliens still had her or something.....

Angel: Oh that's right! And I never told you because he's really boring...

Total: a squared plus b squared equals c squared. The pathogoreon theorem was taken from the Greeks and modified in the year 1891. Jack Sparrow conquered Poland in 1932!

Gazzy: Jack Sparrow has his own country now awesome!

Fang: I thought that was Hitler.......

**In The Middle Of The Night! **

Iggy: My friends the bats say they have located a large cave.

Fang: How do you know that.

Iggy: I have echo location! I AM BATMAN HEAR ME SCREECH!

Angel: Who's Batman?

Gazzy: The freaking greatest superhero of all time! He flies around and beats the crap out of clowns! He's the best!

Max: He beats up clowns......... *suddenly blasts off at light speed*

Fang: *whispers* yes she's finally gone!

Angel: 0_o NOOO She just got a new power.

Fang: Crap.....

**In The Sky!**

Total: I'm sooo jealous of those jackets Anne bought you... *sarcasm*

Fang: I know they're hideous....

Nudge: The orange and green totally clash. It's a fashion no!

Max: Focus! NO FASHION we're going to search for parents!

Iggy: Well! Someone is just being a meany today!! You're just jealous because you know my mom is totally Jessica Alba!

Gazzy: Really! That's soo cool!

Max: He's joking Gazzy...

Angel: Well our dad is totally going to be Weird Al!

Nudge: Well I know who Fang's Dad is!

Iggy: Yeah so do I....

Fang: You know who my dad is AW MY GOSH TELL ME!

Nudge: Darth Vader....

Max: Oh God......

Nudge: WHAT! IT MAKES SENSE! They both wear black all the time, breath funny, have no family and are loners! The only difference is that Darth Vader is really ugly and Fang isn't... yet.

Fang: What do you mean by yet?

Nudge: Well every time we get into a fight you get hurt. Pretty soon your just going to be a bunch of skin held together by scars and stitches.....

(After the flock flies around and finds the house they're looking for they discover it's a barber shop and Iggy has a mental breakdown.)

Iggy: I'm afraid of scissors! *falls over into fetal position*

Fang: I think we should just leave him here...

Nudge: That wouldn't be very nice Mr. Lonely Loner.

Fang: Nudge saying Im a loner is the same as saying I'm lonely...

Nudge: SHUT UP Mr. Fluffykins I don't even want to here it.

Max: *sighs* I think it's time to go home.

**At Ann's House!**

Ann: I've gotten tired of all your crazy antics so I'm sending you to school for 6 hours a day!

Max: What!

Ann: It's a special school were you'll all dress up like prep school Barbie!

Nudge: We all have to were skirts and sweater vests? That could possibly come to life and choke the livin' day lights out of all of us and then ship us off to unda' the sea were all the freaky fish will dance and sing tell they drive us insane!

Gazzy: Fang's going to have to wear a skirt...... 0_o

**At Prep School!**

Gazzy: Woah there's so many kids in here!

Angel: Yeah it's like a candy shop!

Max: You guys know what to do...

Fang: memorize escape routes!

Nudge: Check how well people can fight!

Iggy: Watch out for scissors!

Gazzy: Run away from small children with glue!

Angel: And beat the crap out of the 8th graders!

Max: Okay Break!

NEXT TIME! FANG MEETS LISA, AND THE FLOCK GETS INTO TROUBLE!

~Gabby


	9. Chapter 9

A/N So this is my crazy chapter three to School's out-forever, I still need to finish ch 4 and 5, but I should be able to get alot more done since school's over.

DISCLAIMER~ I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: George Clooney, The Lion King, Girl Scout Cookies, Atlantis, The Biggest Loser or Jessica Alba!

Chapter Three~ Contains MR chapters: 44 to 68

**With Angel!**

Teacher: What's the answer t-

Angel: Yucatan, Mexico, 4 and George Clooney!

Teacher: WOW it's like you read minds or something!

 Angel: 0_o Your getting very sleepy.....

**With Nudge!**

Nudge: *sleeping and drooling on her desk* -_-

**With Fang! **

Lissa(the one who must not be named!): *blocking dictionaries* Well I'm the girl who's going to get between you and Max, and anger Maximum Ride fans around the world! *cue evil laughing* btw my name's Lissa and one day I will destroy the world as you know!

Fang: .......I just want the dictionary.......

Lissa: *whispering* he doesn't seem to be falling for my charm......

Fang: I'm right here, I can still hear you...

**With Gazzy!**

Verydumbkid: I'm flying *jumps off playground and breaks arm*

Gazzy: Yeah....

**With Max! **

Max: My Fang sense is tingling... Someone's trying to steal my best friend....

Kid: Are you talking to yourself?

Iggy: Hakunah Matata! Mean's No wooooooorries!

Max: OH GOD! Please don't start singing again!

**In The Office! **

Headmaster: YOUR BROTHERS SET OF A FLIPPIN' STINK BOMB IN THE BATHROOM!

Max: You set off a stink bomb?

Gazzy: Only a little one.

Iggy: Yeah it was the smallest one we had.

Max: YOU HAVE MORE OF THEM! Empty your pockets now!

( a half hour later the poor headmaster has many stink bombs filling his office)

Headmaster: Your free to go!

(Max, Ig and Gazzy walk out of the office.)

Max: I hope you've learned a lesson! *storms off to class*

Iggy: Hit the button!

Gazzy: *hits the red button on a remote control*

(all the bombs go off at once...)

**Back At Home With The FBI Lady! **

Total: You set of a stink bomb?

Gazzy: more like a hundred of them...

Total: Your my idol 0_0

Anne: Yes and he's also grounded!

**Study Hall!**

Sam: In a conspiracy to keep you and Fang apart I'm going to have to ask you out...

Max: I love ice cream and movies!

Sam: I'll remember that....

Fang: Do you really think that was a good idea?

Max: Well no, but if your going to make me jealous with Lissa I get Sam!

Fang: But he just said.... Never mind.

**With Lissa and Fang!**

Max: LALALA LOOKIE IT'S FANG LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S UP TO!

Iggy: You might not want to interrupt them Max..

Max: Oh no is she trying to sell him Girl Scout Cookies? DON'T WORRY FANG I'LL SAVE YOU!

(Fang and Lissa are in a classroom totally trading spit!)

Max: Don't worry Fangy I'll save you from the Girl Scou- *looks around* Opps 0_o *leaves*

**Walking Home From School!**

Ari: I'm back!

Max: Can we make this quick I've had a really bad day.

Ari: *goes into therapy mode* Really do you want to talk about it?

Nudge: Yeah Max we all want to hear!

Ari: SHUT UP FREAK I'M TALKING! *tears Nudge's sweater*

Nudge: YOU'RE A JERK! *runs home*

Ari: Now Max please start.

Max: Well it all started today, when Ig and I were walking down the hallway singing show tunes..... (awhile later) and then I saw Fang kissing Lissa...

Ari: Well that's just horrible. *goes over to Fang and hits him* WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!

Fang: IDK...

Ari: Well I'm done here....

**Later That Night! **

Angel: *in a freaky voice* Fang luuuuves you..

Max: *knocks Angel out* time for bed sweetie!

(after Max leaves Angel's room)

Fang: YOUR A NINJA NOT MY MOMA! I STARTED A PIMP BLOG PEACE OUT HOME SLICE!

Max:............

**Filed Trip! **

Mr. President: *hypnotized* I will lower taxes, make stuffed animals free and make school days two hours long..

Angel: Yes! And you will als- Oh HI MAX!

Max: Angel We've been looking all over for you! It's time to go!

Angel: I got lost, but Mr. President was walking me back! He was also telling me about how every US home is now required to own a unicorn and that the FBI is searching for Atlantis and that all the cash they find there will go to bank account number 2948432560.

Max: 0_o

**Back At Anne's House!**

Nudge: I broke the secret code!

Total: On what?

Nudge: These random documents from the FBI I found in the trash!

Iggy: What do they say!

Nudge: I don't know yet it's in Japanese...

**Back In The Office! **

Headmaster: YOUR BROTHERS TRIED TO BLOW UP THE SCHOOL!

Gazzy: Yeah but this time it doesn't smell.....

**Grounded At Anne's! **

Angel: No dessert!

Nudge: How are we supposed to get fat now!

Total: Why would we want to be fat?

Nudge: WEll I have this plan... First we eat a lot get super fat and then we get on The Biggest Loser and BAM we're instant stars!

Iggy: No Nudge that's not really how it works....

Nudge: o_0 Are you sure

Fang: *face-palm*

**Later At Anne's!**

Max: Look Fang I found Iggy's mom!

Fang: Jessica Alba?

Max: No um he was joking... but I do know where his real parents are!

Fang: So he'll leave causing us all grief and heartache and just when the reader thinks it's all about to end horribly he'll show up again because his parents will be a bunch of idiots who only want to use him to make cash!

Max: probably..

Fang: Let's do this!

NEXT TIME! MAX GOES ON A DATE FANG GETS JEALOUS AND SO MUCH MORE!

~Gabby


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Soo I've got chapter 5(the chapter after this) all done and typed out. I believe there will be 6 chapter total to the School's Out-Forever Spoof, so this chapter puts us at half way done!!

DISCLAIMER~ I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: Facebook, Gummy Worms, McDonalds, Bermuda Shorts!

Chapter Four~ Contains MR chapters: 69 to 87

**At Dinner! **

Max: I'm going on a date with Sam! And even though I totally know he's doing this to get Fang jealous I'm going to enjoy myself!

Fang: *sarcastic* That's wonderful Max I hope you have great time!

Max: I will!

Fang: Good!

Max: Good!

Fang: GOOD AND WHEN HE BREAKS YOU HEART JUST REMEMBER MISSY WHO HAD TO CLEAN UP THE BIG FREAKIN' MESS!

Max: I'M LEAVING!

**On The Date With Sam!**

Sam: HOLY CRAP YOU ATE THAT WHOLE ICE CREAM YOU'RE FAT!

Max: ...my self esteem.... *looks out window and sees Max 2* WELL DON'T I LOOK GORGEOUS TODAY!

Sam: ..... I'm bringing you home now.........

**Back At Anne's!**

Max: I'm home peeps!

Fang: He didn't break your heart?

Max: No???

Fang: Crap.....

Max: Yeah but I did see my evil twin!

Fang: Oh no an evil Max crap!

Max: It's okay she has a won-de-ful fashion sense!

Fang: *epic facepalm* I'm going to bed.

**The Next Day! **

Fang: I found Iggers parents on Facebook!

Max: Yes we can finally get rid of the annoying one!

Fang: *cue evil laugh*

**With Ig and The Gasman(that poor child) **

Iggy: I smell explosives!

Gazzy: EXCITEMENT!

Iggy: Do you see any secret files?

Gazzy: *picks up file labeled secret* uh huh.

Iggy: Okay well stuff them into your shirt and we'll get out of here!

Gazzy: Wait I see a door! *totally ditches Ig for the door*

Iggy: What's behind it?

Gazzy: A big scary tunnel that goes all the way to China!

**Back At The FBI Agents House!**

Gazzy: LOOK EVERYONE I FOUND SECRET FILES!

Max: GREAT! What do they say?

Gazzy: I don't know I can't read....

Iggy: ...and I can't see so........

Nudge: It's plans for a secret alien invasion!

Total: HOLY CRAP WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Fang: *rolls eyes* we're not going to die. The aliens are going to come get us and give us two heads or an extra foot. It won't be that big of a deal...

Angel: *whispers* I don't want three feet....

**At The Bat Cave! **

Max: Guys I really think it's time to move on...

Angel: But I like it here and no one has tried to kill us yet.

Max: Yeah but that red-head Fang was playing tonsil hockey with the other day looked really dangerous...

Fang: *sarcasm* Yeah she was totally trying to kill me....

Iggy: o_0 Maybe it is time to move on..

Nudge: But Max Thanksgiving is coming up and I really wanted to go hunting with Anne to kill our turkey...

Gazzy: YEAH! And I hear there's going to be pie!

Max: Fine we'll stay but only for the pie...

Total: *facepalm*

**Thanksgiving!**

Anne: When do I know the turkey is done?

Max: When it's a nice charcoal black color?

Iggy: AHHH GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN YOU PSYCHO MANIACS! Max you know better, you're not allowed in the kitchen and Anne neither are you because obviously the FBI does not teach you guys how to cook!

Max and Anne: *defeat* -_-

**At The Table! **

Anne: Maybe we should say what you're thankful for?

Max: I really don't think that's a good idea...

Nudge: I'll go first!!! So I'm thankful for a lot of stuff I'm thankful that Ari ripped my sweater because Anne bought me a new one and it's wayyyy prettier, I'm thankful that Max and Fang don't know they like each other because it would be really gross to deal with them then, I'm thankful that the guy who invented Gummy worms is six feet under or I would have killed him for stealing my idea. I'm thankful for the little paper things that go around cupcakes and muffins otherwise you'd get your hands all dirty, I'm thankful for McDonalds, but not for that clown guy...

Iggy: That's great Nudge, it's my turn. I'm thankful that.... 0_o I don't know what I'm thankful for.....

Fang: Well that's great Ig, but I'm thankful for the fact that I'm the handsome prince of emo darkness and I know every single one of you is really jealous of me.

Max: I'm thankful for duct tape, which I can use to shut Fang up!

Gazzy: *in Angel's voice* I'm thankful that I have blue eyes and look like an angel so that even when I do something horribly bad you still think I'm totally innocent.

Angel: :-\ that's not what I was going to say.......

Total: I'm thankful that I don't have to eat dog food because that stuff is nasty!

Anne: I'm thankful that I'm not your real mother, and I have a license to kill.

Flock: 0_o

Anne: And I want to adopt all of you!

**Later!**

Max: Iggers we found your 'rents!

Iggy: okay?

Fang: This means we're going to go meet them and then ditch you so you're stuck living with them.

Iggy: .........

**At Iggy's Parent's House!**

Fang: *rings doorbell*

Iggy's Parents: *answer door*

Max: *shoves Iggy* So here's your genetically modified son that you lost fourteen years ago, hope the rest of your life is great, bye!

(Max and Fang run away really fast back to a panicked Anne!)

**At Anne's! **

Anne: YOU WILL TELL ME WHERE HE IS!

Max: no.

Anne: okay then whatever, I never really liked Iggy anyways.

Fang: Yeah well no one does even his parents hate him they'll probably use his wings as an excuse to make him mad and then kick him out.

Gazzy: I bet a dollar he'll be back within the week!

Nudge: I bet he's back in a few hours!

Angel: I bet he's home in 3 days 5 hours 46 minutes and 6 seconds.

Gazzy: ... you're not allowed to bet Angel...

**At School! **

Headmaster: I have an announcement! One of the new students the tall, ugly, strawberry-blonde colored haired one is missing! We don't want any of you to worry because we're almost positive he's somewhere safe. I mean he's not in Hawaii partying it up.... The police are confident they'll find him!

Fang: Ig's the tall ugly kid in the group?

Max: I guess so....

Angel: Well he's really not good at matching colors...

Nudge: Like that time he wore green bermuda short and a pink and black checkered shirt, I mean what was he thinking?

Gazzy: *evil face* He lets me pick out matching clothes for him every morning.

Fang: 0_o why?

Gazzy: I really don't know... I was thinking of switching out his shampoo with bleach, but he left......

Fang:...........

Headmaster: Oh and finally the rest of the creepy new kids are under arrest grab them!

(Whole school turns on the flock....)

Angel: Does this mean it's time to leave?

Max: Yesssssssss....

NEXT TIME! IGGY RETURNS ANNE GOES EVIL AND SO MUCH MORE!

~Gabby


	11. Chapter 11

A/N I'm sooooo sorry I got so busy and I didn't post the next chapter, but I have chapter six almost done so that should be posted on time!Oh and thanks for reviewing I love it when people retype their favorite quotes it makes me laugh. :) this should be the second to last chapter in book 2!!!

DISCLAIMER~ I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: the FBI, Walt Disney, Orlando Bloom, Disney World, or Twilight

Chapter Five~ Contains MR chapters: 88 to 105

**In The Air!**

Angel: We have to go back to the psycho FBI agents house!

Max: Why?

Angel: Totals there Max we can't leave him all alone! You know Anne only feeds him dog food and he hates that stuff! He'll starve!

Fang: Listen Angel maybe we could just buy you a nice kitten later...

Gazzy: That doesn't talk...

Nudge: Or complain that his steak is too rare and still needs more cook time...

Angel: NOOO I want Total!

Max: Ugh! Fine we'll go get the mutt!

**In The Air Above Anne's House! **

Max: Fang go get Total with Angel!

(4 seconds later)

Total: I thought you'd forgotten about me! Or you we're just going to leave me behind...

Nudge: The second one!

Gazzy: *points to Ari and whines* Look he has a popsicle, why does he get a popsicle?

**On The Ground!**

Anne: *handing out popsicles* You've all done such a good job tracking down the flock! Here's your reward!

Ari: YES! My dad never lets me have sugary stuff! He says it's bad for me!

Jeb: ARGH! You gave them sugar! Don't you know what sugar does to them?

Anne: -_-.....no......

Jeb: They get all hyper and then they blow up!

Eraser: Heyyy boss isn't that the flock *points to flock*

Jeb: Yes, yes it is..

Eraser: Oh the- *blows up*

Jeb: SEE LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! SUGAR IS AN ERASER'S NUMBER ONE WEAKNESS!

Anne: Well it didn't say that in the manual!

**In The Air! **

Iggy: Guess who's back, back again?

Nudge: Walt Disney?

Iggy: No.

Nudge: Orlando Bloom?

Iggy: NO! It's me!

Fang: Well that's not really exciting....

Iggy: 0_o Why?

Fang: Because I'm sure that was my prediction at the end of chapter four........

Max: Well I'm going to zoom down and check on my dysfunctional family, Fang you're in charge!

**On The Ground!**

Anne: *crying* I'm sorry I screwed up your erasers Jeb, but it wasn't in the Erasers 101 Manual!

Jeb: *freaking out* don't cry! Emotional moments scare me!

Max: Hey! Look everyone's here are we having a tea party!

Jeb: YOU SCREWED UP MAX TOO. EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH IS JUST DESTROYED!

MAX WAS MY MULTIMILLION DOLLAR NINJA IN TRAINING! AND NOW YOU'VE MESSED HER UP!

Max: What?

Jeb: Ninjas don't have tea parties or go to school or dance around acting like monkeys!

Max: I'm leaving this is weird... *flies off and yells to flock* HEY GUYS SPLIT UP MEET UP AT THE BAT CAVE!

**With Fang! **

Fang: *trying to fight a million erasers at once and not mess up his hair*

Max: Look out it's Ari!

Fang: *turns to Ari* I HATE YOU YOU'RE FAT! GO AWAY!

Ari: *crying* WHATEVER I HATE YOU TOO! *flies away!

**With The Flock At The Bat Cave! **

Angel: I want to go to Florida!

Max: What! Why?

Angel BECAUSE THAT MOUSE LIVES THERE!

Nudge: Yess I want to go visit the mouse!

Total: You hate mice!

Nudge: Not talking ones!

Max: Whatever we'll go to Florida...

Fang: I'm not going...

Iggy: Why?

Fang: The sun is to bright there...

Gazzy: So?

Fang: It'll bleach my hair and I don't like the light... I'm half vampire just like the amazing Edward Cullen that's why I'm so hot...

**In The Sky On The Way To The Sunshine State! **

Iggy: Holy Crap this dog is heavy... *drops Total*

Angel: Total!

Flock: *looks down through the clouds at falling Total*

Fang: You think we should go get him?

Max: Ugh I'll do it... *dives through clouds and saves falling dog and then throws him at Fang* here you carry him.

Total: Did you see that Fang! I almost died!

Fang: Yeah whatever, just shut up and don't lick me.....

**In The Air Near A Beach! **

Younger Flock members: can we go to the beach *bambi eyes*

Max: AHH Must resist... Yes we can go to the beach.

Voice: No Max you can't go to the beach you're on a mission a-

Max: NO I'M A REBEL! AND I'M GOING TO THE BEACH! *zooms to beach*

**At The Beach! **

Voice: *recites some fortune cookie crap*

Max: That's it I'm going emo! *grabs shell and starts to cut through arm...

Fang: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! *smacks Max and starts to bandage her arm*

Max: I wanted to be emo....

Fang: NO you can't be emo so you're just going to have to get over it.

Flock: *has terrified looks on*

Max: *bursts out into tears*

Fang: *hugs Max* Uhh why don't the rest of you go swimming while I convince Max we should all move to a tropical island?

Angel: Well before I go swimming I have to tell you that we, the flock, we're created to survive like mega disasters. So you know when the world ends from a big company like setting off a nuclear explosion we'll be all right! Isn't that awesome!

Max: 0_o Yeah that's great sweetie....

Angel: Okee Dookie I'm going swimming.

(Flock minus Max and Fang leaves)

**Ten Minutes Later!**

Angel: I can talk to fish!

Fang: No way, this isn't going to be annoying or bad at all...

(Angel then calls up a bunch of sharks to eat Gazzy with her new found powers!)

Gazzy: MY SISTER'S TRYING TO KILL ME!

Angel: MWHAHAHA!

(or at least that's how I saw it.)

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK GOES TO DISNEY MEET SWAMP CHILDREN AND MAX IS KIDNAPPED BY HER EVIL CLONE!

~Gabby


	12. Chapter 12

A/N AHHHH I can't believe it! I have finished School's Out- Forever! I'm soo excited to spoof the next one! I'm crossing my fingers that I don't run out of crazy ideas!

DISCLAIMER~ I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: Disney World, Journey, High School Musical, The Jonas Brothers, Twilight, The Mortal Instruments, or Jell-o.

CLAIMER(1st one ever!)~ Bill and Frank are my Martians! You can't take them away from me or use them without my permission! Bill: Please save us....

Chapter Six~ Contains MR chapters: 106 to Epilogue!

**Somewhere In A Swamp In Florida! **

Max: *standing in swamp guck* YUCK this mud is ruining my new clothes!

Fang: It's ruining your clothes! It's ruining my hair! I think I'm the more important one in this situation!

Nudge: I'm hungry!

(one hour later!)

Fang: Here's some more swamp rat Nudge!

Nudge: *chokes falls over and dies*

Max: WOW, it's really quiet...

Iggy: We should of done that years ago...

Angel: *creepy voice* someone's here....

Nudge: *springs back to life* COMPANY! We haven't had people visit us in sooo long they never know where to find us... We really should get a permanent address guys.

Iggy: I know we definitely should all my fangirls never know where to send my mail.

Swamp Children:...... feed.... us....

Gazzy: 0_o they're creepy... like zombies...

Fang: I say we ditch them!

Angel: Yes onward to Disney World!

**With Ari!**

Ari: WHAT THE HECK DAD MAX GETS TO GO TO DISNEY!

Jeb: She's my favorite child... you're just going to have to get over it....

**Disney World With The Flock!**

Fang: *twitching* Why are there so many people here?

Max: I don't know why?

Fang: *still twitching* they're all so close to me and it's soo bright a-

Iggy: *rolls eyes* Oh God he's going into goth mode....

Fang: I'M MELTING! *becomes puddle of goo*

Angel: That's sooo cool is that his new power?

Max: I don't think so sweetie.

Gazzy: LOOK IT'S ARI!

Max: EVERYBODY RUN! *scoops up Fang in a pail*

Ari: Why do they do that every time... I'm not that ugly am I? *crying*

Eraser: *hugging Ari* It's okay man, I don't think your ugly....

Ari: *sniffles* thanks man...

**Da Junk Yard!**

Total: How about we take that car *points to a porsche*

Iggy: Totally we should have that one! It's the coolest color!

Total: see someone finall- *give Ig a look* why do you have to do that!

Iggy: I don't know...

Nudge: It's okay guys, just give me an hour and I'll assemble a totally yuck car that we can drive out of here.

**In The Clown Car!**

Gazzy: Nudge get your elbow out of my kidney.

Iggy: Gazzy get your foot of my head!

Nudge: An...gel g...et yo...ur hai...r oooo...ut my m..ou..th

Angel: Why don't you get your mouth of my hair!

Fang: Does any one want to sing 'Don't Stop Believing?'

Flock: NO!

Max: I do! 'Just a small town girl, living in a a lonely world, She took the midnight train going anywhere!'

Fang: Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit, He took the midnight train going anywhere!'

Nudge: They're having a High School Musical moment..

Iggy: It's okay we all get them....

**On A Highway!**

Fang: Look a state trooper!

Iggy: Crap a law person...

Max: What??

Iggy: Well while we stayed at Anne's I kind of got into robbing banks...

Fang: Really how much money did you make?

Max: Fang! Iggy that was bad very bad now hand over the cash you stole....

Fang: No I'll take care of it! *pulls over*

State trooper: Do you know how fa- *looks at Fang* Are you related to Nick Jonas, Edward Cullen or Jace Wayland?

Fang: Nope.

State trooper: o_0 what did I come over here to say?

Fang: That I'm incredibly hot and that there's a problem on the highway behind us and you should go take care of that...

State trooper: o_0 yes, yes I should... Have a nice day...

Angel: -_- I could of done that with my freaky mind powers...

Gazzy: Is Fang really that hot?

Iggy: I don't know, just blame it on the writer...(Me: -_- heyyy)

Total: I'm hot too.

Max: No, no you're not...

Total: Ohhh..... -_-

**At A Hotel!**

Max: *wakes up with duct tape covering her mouth and sees Max 2 taking her place and she's totally thinking* 'Oh Thank God they're finally talking me away from these lunatics...'

Max2: *is switching places with Max and is thinking* 'I have to stay here with these idiots? God my life sucks...'

**Morning At the Hotel!**

Gasman: FEED ME!

Max2: 0_o okay.. what do you want me to cook?

Flock: *screams* NO YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO COOK!

Fang: *suspicious* You don't cook...

Max2: why?

Iggy: You ruined Fang's last birthday with your cooking!

Fang: I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

Max2: okie dookie!

**With Max! (The following takes place all in Max's head...)((It's also incorrect because Jeb is supposed to talk to Max... but I don't care...)) **

Max: Where the heck am I?

Voice: In a tub of Jell-O... you'll never get out...

Max: I'm going to eat my way out! *starts to eat all the Jell-O* Oh God, gross this is raspberry Jell-O!

Voice: *evil laugh* I know! It's your least favorite berry in jiggly form!

Max: WHY!

Voice: How much do you want to survive Maximum!!! Will you brave eating the jiggly berry or will you starve here in a giant bowl of Jell-O!

Max: It's so hard to decide.......

**With Fangalicious!**

Iggy: Where are we going?

Max2: *superhero pose* TO SAVE THE WORLD!

Angel: *whispering to Fang* Why's Max acting so weird?

Fang: *whispers back*Why are you asking me?

Nudge: *screams* because Max is totally the love of your life and you should know why she acts so weird! Like that time after you kissed Lissa and she was acting funny and you didn't do anything! You just screamed 'I'm a ninja check out my pimp blog your not my momma!' ... or something like that..

Fang: 0_o You were awake for that...

Nudge: Yes.....

Max2: *thinking* I don't love any of these freaks... especially not the one who's obsessed with his hair...

Fang: I HEARD THAT! YOU INSULTED MY HAIR! *to his hair* shhh it's okay she didn't mean it...

**With Max!**

Max: AH HA! I've escaped!

Erasers: Hi Max we've come to stop you from escaping we're sorry in advanced if we injury you in any way...

Max: No worries it's cool...*jumps out window*

Erasers: *Follows Max and try to kill her*

**With Iggy (Who I love making fun of it's just to easy...) And The Rest Of The Flock!**

Max: *jumps Max2 and beats her up* Okay guys we're done here lets go!

Total: Guess what Max! Fang loves-

Fang: *kicks Total across the room likes a football where he lands safely in a pile of marshmallows* ( You didn't think I'd hurt Total did you?)

Max: What do you love Fang?

Fang: Writing depressing poetry... I'm a goth freak... also I'm slightly emo which is where the obsession with my hair comes in...

Max: 0_o okay guys we're leaving, because Fang is really freaking me out...

**Later! **

(Most of the Flock is asleep... Max and Fang are awake sharing a warm soda...)

Fang: Victory! I'm awesome...

Max: *pours her soda on Fang's hair*

Fang: *screams so loud you can hear it on Mars* YOU RUINED MY HAIR!

**On Mars!**

Frank: Did you hear that Bill?

Bill: I did Frank, those Earthlings are so loud!

Frank: *screams at Earth* KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE WILL YA!

~End: School's Out-Forever

Thanks for reading this far everyone and for the awesome reviews that keep me laughing at my own weirdness! Keep reading and reviewing and I'll keep writing! In a more sad note... I have a bit of writers block so don't expect a new chapter next week unless some crazy miracle happens.

~Gabby :)


	13. Chapter 13 STWAOES!

Maximum Ride SPOOF 3!

A/N AHHH I can't believe I'm spoofing the 3rd book I'm soooo excited. The third book is my favorite and I can't wait to totally mess it up!! So here's the first chapter of the spoofed out Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports!! A big thanks to ArmyQueen95 for her review which made me laugh so hard, also thank you to St. Fang of Boredom for always reviewing and reposting your favorite quotes!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm definitely not James Patterson and I don't own Harry Potter!

Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports~

Chapter One~ Contains MR chapters: 1 to 13

**In a Car! **

Max: I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU!

Fang: Max the story has started...

Max: I love you guys.....

Iggy: I want to catch everyone up on our story this time!

Max: *sigh* Go for it Ig...

Iggy: *announcer voice* So far the flock consists of Max, Fang, the incredible Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel and Angel's annoying dog!

Total: Heyy...

Iggy: They are currently in a yuck van and on the run again because it's a hobby of ours.

Nudge: You're not incredible Iggy...

Iggy: What! Yes I am!

Max: Aww Ig I think your incredible... incredibly annoying.

Fang: :D That was amazing Max! Awesome use of tone and words! I love you....

Angel: I want to be leader and then I'll take over the world!

Flock: -_- What?

**At a Park!**

(The flock is in trees and everyone is sleeping except Max and Fang.)

Fang: I think we should ditch the flock...

Max: -_- I'm going to bed

Fang: WHAT! why?

Max: I refuse to listen to anymore of your crazy schemes in which we get married on a tropical island after ditching the flock and then five years later have a numerous amount of winged children... *goes to sleep*

Fang: *pouts* I don't scheme... *goes into emo mode* mu...st b..log....

**Fang's Blog!**

Hey Guys!

The flock and the amazing me are on the run again because after eating and obsessing over my hair it's my favorite thing to do! Now I need to ask all of you internet geeks a favor... Please help me scheme up some ways to get Max to leave the flock.... Right now I'm thinking the easiest way to do this is to hit her off the head with a big rock and hope she losses her memory and then I can tell her I'm her boyfriend and we can move away to No Name Key! But if you have a better idea I'd love to hear it!

Fly on, Fang

**Tour of Texas! **

Nudge: I want to go to a museum...

Iggy: Blah, No!

Fang: Look a football stadium!

Iggy: Where there's football there's...

Both: CHEERLEADERS! *dive bomb to the football stadium*

Max: UGH I hate sports and peppy people...

**Football! **

Nudge: 0_o Look at that cotton candy! Can I have some Max! It's soo big and poofy! It looks like an afro! I bet I could wear it like an afro! How cool would that be Max, It'd be like a wig and a tasty snack all in one! Please can I have some!

Max: -_- why don't you ask Fang...

Fang: cheerleaders *drools*

Nudge: *pops in front of Fang* Can I have a cotton candy afro?

Fang: *tries to push Nudge out of the way* you're in the way...

Nudge: I WANT A COTTON CANDY AFRO!

Fang: GET OUT OF THE WAY!

**With Max and everyone else who's sitting a few seats to the left of Fang....**

Iggy: Max that wasn't smart Fang's going to kill her...

Max: *eating popcorn* Well it'll be more interesting then football...

**With Fang and Nudge! **

Nudge: I'LL GET OUT OF THE WAY WHEN YOU SAY I CAN HAVE A COTTON CANDY AFRO!

Fang: NEVER! GET OUT OF MY WAY MIDGET!

Nudge: Okay.... *grabs one of the cotton candies the guy is handing out, licks it, sticks it to Fang's hair and walks away*

Fang: MY HAIR! *runs over to Max* Quick we need to leave!

Max: Why I think your new pink afro looks stunning...

Fang: I hate you! I need to go wash, rinse and repeat and then condition my hair *flies off*

Angel: It's okay Max... Fang doesn't hate you he loves you... just not as much as he loves his hair...

Gazzy: Maybe we should go check on him...

Iggy: Yeah last time some one messed with his hair *cough Max* he tried to go into emo mode and cut himself, but we didn't have any knifes... So we found him trying to saw away at his arm with a carrot...

Nudge: If we had given him another hour or two he might have actually turned his skin orange.

Max: *sigh* fine let's go... *flock flies away*

**Somewhere Near Mexico In a Canyon! **

Nudge: I'm hungry...

Max: Oh well sweetie I'm sure Fang will let you eat some of his cotton candy afro...

Fang: *glares at the flock* stay away from my hair, you freaks!

Nudge: *sigh* I'll go look for a lizard then...

Voice: *creepy voice* they're coming for you Max. Oh and all the other experiments are dead, so run for your life!

Max: Hey guys the voice says we haven't been seeing any of the Erasers because they're all dead...

Fang: We need a home.

Max: Oh God not again...

Fang: No not like that! We all need a home somewhere we can all be safe and don't have to worry about mad scientists chasing us around with jello or any other jiggly substance!

Flock: YEAH A HOME!

Angel: Filled with strawberries, fairies and sugar!

**In The Air With Max And Fang! **

Max: I hate you!

Fang: 0_o why?

Max: Because now Angel and Nudge are going to be all hyped up about a home and your just going to find some cave put a rock in it for a chair and say home sweet home everyone! But they're expecting something better like some magical place filled with gummy bears, fairies, magic, and other people!

Fang: -_-That sounds like Hogwarts...

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK IS CAPTURED AND FANG TRIES TO CONVINCE MAX TO FORGET HER MISSION TO SAVE THE WORLD!

~Gabby


	14. Chapter 14

A/N Hey guys I'm going camping all next week so no new chapter :( but there will be a new chapter up maybe the day I come back!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm not J.P. and I don't own MR or Harry Potter, La-Z-Boy, or Candy Mountain.

Chapter Two~ Contains MR chapters: 13 to 31

**With Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy and Angel! **

Iggy: Let's go fly around in circles for fun!

Rest of the Flock: YES!

Nudge: *spots flying fridges* LOOK ERASERS!

Gazzy: I got this! *drops bomb on Erasers*

Robot: you have terminated me, but I am one of many robots...

Iggy: *gasp* robots! And there's a lot of them!

Total: Yeah he just said that...

**With Max And Fang In a Cave!**

Fang: What'cha thinking about? I bet it's me and all my awesomeness!

Max: No I'm worrying about the flock!

Fang: -_- Ugh that's all you ever think about...

Max: *shoves rat drumstick into Fang's mouth* Shut up and eat...

Fang: *chokes and then swallows drumstick whole* Forget the mission Max, if the flock wants to live in a magical place similar to Hogwarts then they should be able to...

Max: I don't like Harry Potter he thinks he's cool because he can fly around on a broom, but I'm obviously way cooler...

Fang: *facepalm* Forget the mission Max... *kisses Max*

Max: *jumps to her feet* Holy crap your breath smells bad what have you been eating! *jumps out of cave and flies away*

Fang: *makes face* my breath doesn't smell that bad does it?

**With the Rest Of The Flock! **

Robots: We have returned to capture you with greater numbers of us, too many for even us to count.

Nudge: Really I bet I can count all of you.. 1, 2, 3...........(3 hours later after a quick break for dinner) 2,987, 2,988, 2,989...

Robot1: I don't like the loud annoying girl...

Nudge: Hey you moved now I have to start over! 1, 2, 3...

Robots: Experiment M11NFK must be terminated... *robots surround Nudge*

Iggy: So if you can have just Nudge will you leave the rest of us alone?

Robot2: No Dude we'd take just her, but the lab wants you all...

Total: *sigh* Why do we have to be sooo popular.

Robots: Please follow us it will be easier if you take turns and duct tape yourselves...

Angel: okay! Nudge turn around so I can tape your hands together...

(ten minutes later the flock((minus Angel, Max and Fang))is in the back of a van)

Robot1: You will love your room in the lab, we just had all the rooms redecorated with different themes! My favorite is the under the sea room, because you know robots can't go under water so it's cool to go in a room that looks like it... It's always been a dream of mine to learn how to swim, and go to the Olympics, but *starts to cry* I can't because I always electrocute myself...

**With Fang And Max! **

Max: Come on let's go!

Fang: ...my breath didn't smell bad last night, I asked every desert rat in the area and they all said it smelled fine...

Max: You can talk to rats?

Fang: Yes my friend Peter Pettigrew taught me how...

Max: o_O Oh look it's Dr. Martinez's house let's go there! *flies off*

Fang: Why would we go there?

Max: COOKIES!

**At Dr. Martinez's House! **

Max and Dr. Martinez: *huggles*

Fang: Blah, hugs....

Max: Come on Fang group hug!

Fang: *runs away*

Max: MORE COOKIES FOR ME!

**Later! (after Max has eaten about 543 cookies!) **

Fang: Look at her arm! She sliced it up cause she wanted to be emo!

Dr. Martinez: Oh, Max... Your not emo....

Max: I want the chip out of my arm!

Dr. Martinez: Okay, I'll try to surgically remove it later. But I have to warn you I'll probably fail and you'll never be able to use your arm again...

**With The Rest Of The Flock! **

Nudge: Oh no where did the evil blonde one go!

Gazzy: I'm right here, Nudge!

Nudge: Oh no not you, you're the annoying blonde one... your sister's the evil blonde one...

Gazzy: We need a plan to get out of here before Iggy goes emo like Fang..

Iggy: It's no use there's no hope we're all going to die!

Total: 0_o Can I bite him?

Nudge: NO! we need a plan! Because we're going to save Angel and then find Max and Fang!

Total: How about I chew the duct tape off!

Iggy: You're really into biting things today..

Total: *bites Iggy*

**With Max And Fang! **

Ella: Hey Ma-*sees Fang* Oh wow you're hot... 0_o *drools*

Max: *jealous* back off!

Fang: It's okay it happens everywhere I go...

Dr. Martinez: Max are you ready for me to cut open your arm in a horrible attempt to stop you from being emo ever again?

Max: Yes!

**At Where Ever Dr. Martinez Works! **

Dr. Martinez: Max I'm going to stick this overly large needle in your arm! *jams needle in Max's arm*

Max: *jumps* Hey wh- *Valium shuts down Max's brain* OoOo pretty lights...

Ella: o_0 Are you sure she's okay?

Fang: *whips out video camera* Oh I'm sure she's just fine, but just incase I better record this, for the benefit of future generations and all who read my blog...

Max: You know what I've always wanted... a La-Z-Boy, Ella did you bring any cupcakes for the party? Fang don't forget the fireworks, they always make a happy ending... A mountain made of chocolate chip cookies! CANDY MOUNTAIN CHARLIE! I loooooooove you Fang!

Dr. Martinez: okay I'm done Max, move your fingers.

Max: Okay..

Dr. Martinez: Wiggle your fingers Max...

Max: I am..

Dr. Martinez: It's just as I predicted! You have lost the use of your left hand!

Fang:... I'm going to go blog....

NEXT TIME! MAX LEARNS TO DO THINGS WITH ONE HAND AND FANG MAKES FUN OF HER! ELSEWHERE THE FLOCK IS STILL IN DANGER!

~Gabby


	15. Chapter 15

A/N Hello wonderful readers I am back from camping with a new appreciation for technology and Air conditioning. And I have a wonderful new chapter for you, and I only need a few more reviews to hit a hundred, so review! It'll make me very happy!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: Friendly's, the Macarena, Martha Stewart, Snicker Bars, Teletubbies, Transformers,

Chapter Three~ Contains MR chapters: 31 to 52

**With Max And Fang!**

Fang: So I hear you love me.....

Max: ..........

Fang: I blogged about it and my readers informed me you have conflicted feelings for me and during book 5 you will finally admit that you love me... So it's okay if you don't want to admit it right now.

Max: *face-palm*

Voice: He's right Max....

Max: *screams* NO NOT YOU TOO! I WAS SURE I'D GOTTEN RID OF YOU!

Voice: You cannot defeat me....

Max: *runs into bathroom to go cry in the shower*

**Later After Max And Fang Leave Dr. Martinez's House!**

Fang: Look Max! I found this picture of the Gasman in between two books at your moms. I bet they're related 0_o

Max: No... I don't think that's why she has it......

Fang: Look the canyon where we left the flock...

Max: It looks like no one's been here in days...

Fang: Maybe they all went to Friendly's! You know Max, 'where ice cream makes the meal'

Max: Oh Fang, what am I going to do with you......

**With The Rest Of The Flock!**

Nudge: Where are we...

Iggy: In hell?

Gazzy: Really! Is that some type of amusement park! I love roller coasters!

Iggy: No it's the place with fire and scary things an-

Angel: I'm here to kill you all!

Gazzy: Why are you talking so weird?

Angel: This is my evil voice...

Nudge: OMG this is like that dream I had last week... Except Max was here and we were being attacked by broccoli... Maybe this isn't like my dream...

**With Max And Fang!**

(who are following tire tracks to get to the flock!)

Max: *sees flyboys* Whoa look at all of them...

Fang: Yeah... What are they? They can't be Erasers...

Max: You think it'd distract them all if we did the macarena.

Fang: No. I think they'd shoot at us and then laugh about it later...

Both: *land on the ground near truck*

Max: Hey! Iggy you there!

Iggy: Yes, you came to save us Max!

Max: .... Well I kind of was hoping you weren't here...

Iggy: -_- *defeat*

Angel: Hello Max....

Max: Why are you talking like that?

Angel: *stomps foot* this is my evil voice! God, why doesn't anyone get that!

Jeb: Calm down sweetie just say your line....

Angel: Oh right... *ominous voice* All the other experiments are being exterminated and you will be too.

(cue blackness that knocks flock out)

**At The School! (No not the kind normal humans go to...)**

(Flock wakes up Velcroed to metal beds!)

Max: My head hurts...

Fang: that's because it to big for your body....

Iggy: OOO Burn!

Fang: We don't do that......

Gazzy: What's going on?

Max: Uhhh

Nudge: Were strapped to beds and we're all going to die because your sister is a traitor!

Gazzy: Oh, I'm sorry....

**Later!**

Old Lady: Who wants cookies?

Max: 0_o Oh cookies... NO must resist...

Fang: Get out of here Martha Stewart no one wants your cookies!

Max: I kind of do.....

Old Lady: *leaves*

**Way Later!**

Anne: Hi kids remember me!

Flock: 0_o no?

Anne: *sigh* well no one ever does... any who everything you've experienced for the past five months has all been a dream.......

Max: That explains a lot....

Fang: It does?

Max: Yeah like why you suddenly have an obsession with your hair, and why you like me.... I was dreaming!

Jeb: This was way easier then I thought it was going to be...

Nudge: Well of course it's easy to convince us it's all been a dream. Nothing good has happened to us. And Total's gone which is a a plus, I hated his attitude!

Jeb: Okay... Well I'm going to leave you kids alone for a few hours and hope you go crazy...

**Two Hours Later!**

Max: I love hot fudge sundaes, you love hot fudge sundaes we all love hot fudge sundaes!

Nudge: I don't really like hot fudge... or sundaes...

Max: -_- No one asked you....

Ari: Max I've come to get you!

Max: Why...

Ari: I'm going to show you around the mad scientists' lab!

**Tour Of The School! **

Ari: And there's the cafeteria where all the evil scientists eat after they mutate things... I love their salads!

Max: Really! It's so hard to find a place that makes good salads anymore!

Ari: I know it's great they even put that hard bread stuff on it and they have twenty two types of sauces to chose from!

Max: UNBELIEVABLE! I WANT A SALAD NOW!

**With The Flock!**

Iggy: Oh man, I bet Ari is torturing Max!

Gazzy: I know I hope she's okay, who knows what type of horrible things he could be doing to her!

**With Max!**

Max: Your right this is the best salad ever!

Ari: mhm... do you want more salad dressing?

Max: Yes... ranch, it's the bestest!

Ari: I know it's like the best flavor of salad dressing it's so under appreciated! Oh and by the way I'm dying and the scientists here have created a new sort of super-baby mutant thing....

Max: Sounds pretty serious... could you pass the croutons?

**The Next Day!**

Dr. ter Borcht: These be the freaks?

Fang: No, not all of us are freaks... only Max and sometimes Iggy, but only when he tries to act cool...

Dr. ter Borcht: Quick write dat down de leader and blind one seem to have some type of mental disability!

Max: Hey!

Dr. ter Borcht: Ugh... de unsmart one is trying to communicate vith me... Quick I vant dem exterminated!

Gazzy: Hey how many Snicker Bars do you think you could eat?

Dr. ter Borcht: I... umm, vat?

Gazzy: This one time Nudge ate like 16 at once it was so cool! And your head is bigger then hers so I just figured you could eat more!

Dr. ter Borcht: ... he vill be de first to be exterminated...

**Sometime Later!**

Scientists: *throws a box in the room where the flock is*

Flock: *approaches box with caution incase it's a bomb or something worse like a Teletubby*

Fang: Look Gazzy your parents sold you to the school! I bet they loved you!

Gazzy: -_-

**Later!**

Gazzy: Maybe Optimus Prime will come save us!

Fang: You do know that's only a movie, right?

Gazzy: NO WAY! Then why'd they build the Hoover Dam?

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK ESCAPES MAX AND FANG BREAK UP AND ARI JOINS THE GROUP!

~Gabby


	16. Chapter 16

A/N Ahhh, I'm so super sorry in my last A/N I didn't tell you I wouldn't be posting for another week because my family was up from Florida! But now chapter four is here! Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: Harvard, Lego Land, Taco Bell, Gilmore Girls, Brad Pitt, or Johnny Depp.

Chapter Four~ Contains MR chapters: 52 to 72

**Still Captured! **

(The whole flock has been knocked out and put into a big metal cage to be exterminated!)

Gazzy: Finally, something exciting!

Dr. ter Borcht: You are avake yah?

Max: No we're all sleep talking at once.

Nudge: 0_o ZOMG! Guys I had the coolest dream last night!*points to Dr. ter Borcht* You where there, and so was the whole flock! We were at this carnival and I wanted cotton candy and Max told me I couldn't have any, and then these giant gummy bears came from outer space to attack the Earth! But it was all okay because Fang talked them out of their world domination quest with his degree from Harvard!

Dr. ter Borcht:... she vill be exterminated first.

Assistant: but you said the blonde bo-

Dr. ter Borcht: This nuisance must be terminated first!

Fang: Whoa I'm like super smart I went to Harvard!

Max and Iggy: *Facepalm*

Gazzy: Quick Fang say something smart!

Fang: ... Max's hair is pretty........

Max: -_- thanks...

Angel: *hits Dr. Crazy with a pipe, because obviously the whole time she was gone she was honing her awesome ninja abilities...*

Max: Angel you've come back from the dark side to save us!

Angel: Yeah, none of them got my evil laugh and they only cooked lobster for dinner, I mean yuck!

Iggy: 0_o Please make me your next evil minion! I love lobster!

Ari: *magically poofs in out of nowhere!* Max I'm here to rip open your cage with my teeth and make Fang mad!

Max: That's wonderful! Save me first because I'm the smartest!

Fang: No I went to Harvard and my hair's the best!

Nudge: You guys are really starting to freak me out...

(Flock escapes the School with Ari!)

**At a Ski House! **

Fang: Can I talk to you?

Max: Can you wait I want to finish my sixty-third can of ravioli first...

Fang: No I think you've had enough ravioli I want to talk to you outside....

**Outside!**

Fang: Max I demand you take a shower! Your always stinking up where ever we fly and when that squirrel dropped dead yesterday it wasn't because it was scared it was because of the toxic fumes coming off of you!

Max: I take shower once a month! If that's not good enough for you maybe you should do something about it!

Fang: That's it! This is going to cost you Max!

Max: 0_o how much?

Fang: *Facepalm*

**The Next Morning! **

Fang: Max I'm breaking up with you!

Flock: *Gasp*

Max: When were we ever together?

Fang: I'm taking Iggy and Gazzy somewhere far away from your stench everyone else can stay with you.

Max: Fine well, I'm bringing my group to Europe beat that!

Fang: Yeah well, I'm bringing mine to California!

Total: Don't we get a say in this?

Fang and Max: No you don't! *both storm off to opposite sides of the globe*

**With Fang!**

Iggy: What are we going to do in California?

Fang: We're going to bug every major magazine by telling them that the world is ending!

Gazzy: ... I wanted to go to Lego Land......

Fang: Well I really want to own Taco Bell and speak Japanese, but sometimes we don't get what we want!

Iggy: I always get what I want... because I'm awesome.....

Fang: Ig you're confusing yourself with me again.

Gazzy: Why aren't I awesome?

Iggy: Because you just can't be Gazzy, it's the way it is...

Fang: It's like asking why is the sky blue.

**With Max!**

Airport Guy: You can't bring dogs on a plane.

Angel: *freaky voice* This is not a dog, it's an alien.

Airport Guy: Well, we don't have any rules about aliens on planes. So go right ahead!

**On the Plane! (where aliens are allowed?)**

Total: Look Max they have TVs! Maybe they have all the season off Gilmore Girls, too. I've been meaning to catch up on seasons two and four....

Max: I'm sure they do.... Just don't watch them the whole trip, please!

(three hours later)

Total: *crying* Rory is all grown up. She's going off to college Max! Isn't that so sad, I'd cry if you left and went to college.

Max: -_- I'm going to jump off this plane...

**In England!**

Nudge: Look Buckingham Palace!

Max: Where?

Nudge: The big building right in front of you.

Max: It doesn't look that important, moving on!

Angel: Max, you promised we could tour Europe!

Max: My script says to give you a whirlwind tour of Europe! So now you've seen where the Queen and Mr. Queen live so lets move on to France!

Total: Mr. Queen?

Ari:No I want to go to that place full of wax people first!

**At the Place Full of Wax People! **

Angel: It's creepier then I am here....

Nudge: I want to leave!

Brad Pitt Wax Figure: Leaving so soon?

Flock: *screams and runs away*

Johnny Depp Wax Figure: That wasn't nice Brad you scared all the children away with your face, again.

NEXT TIME! FANG JOINS A GANG AND GETS THROWN OUT OF A BUILDING! ELSEWHERE MAX AND HER FLOCK LAND IN PARIS!

~Gabby


	17. Chapter 17

A/N *YAWN* Well sorry I couldn't put this up sooner, but school started this week and I've been crazy busy this is the first free day I've had between school, soccer, family and homework! Hopefully I'll be able to write and upload the next chapter faster, but I really can't promise to much, once soccer ends (in like November) I'll be able to post again on a regular basis right now I'll just write when I can. On to chapter Four!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: Romeo and Juliet!

Chapter Five~ Contains MR chapters: 72 to 87

**The British Itex!**

Nudge: I bet they talk awesome here!

Total: Like how?

Nudge: Like 'good da' mate!'

Angel: That's an Australian accent Nudge. People from England love fish and chips right Max?

Max: uh huh....

Nudge: But there chips are really french fries! It makes no sense!

Ari: I miss Fang...

Max: But he hates you.

Ari: I know I totally miss his intense hatred for me. It totally gave me a place in the story...

Total: Oh, you die soon get over it!

Angel: I like the British Itex it's all creepy and gloomy it reminds me of Iggy after we insult him!

Max: Oh sweetie, we need to get you some help before you end up like your brother...

**In California! **

Gazzy: Somewhere, someone's implying I'm stupid....

Iggy: It's a fact Gazzy...

Fang: *excited voice* Guys I'm going to be a gangster! My life's goal is complete!

Iggy: I thought your life goal was to start a shampoo product company?

Fang: -_- It was and then Max laughed at me when I told her.

Gazzy: It's that why you guys broke up?

Fang: That and the fact she went on a shower strike right after that...

Iggy: Is that why she smelled so bad. I just thought maybe she had run across a dead skunk one day...

**Later!**

Fang: I have a plan!

Gazzy: I'm hungry.

Fang: What else is new fatty!*

Gazzy: ....

Fang: Now I'd like to talk about me and my awesome plan. We're going to go to a magazine place and tell them all about us and then BAM we'll be rich and famous and the School will be destroyed when the military bombs it! Any questions?

Iggy: I'm kind of hungry, too....

Fang: -_-

**At The Magazine Place! **

Fang: I have an amazing story for you!

Reception Guy: Yeah, and so does every other crazy conspiracy freak in the area. Take a number and wait in line.

Fang: *scowls and takes number*

Gazzy: Fang! This is like at the deli when you have to take a number and then you wait in line to get ham! Are we buying some ham?

Fang: No... I don't eat ham because it's not a dead animal I killed and roasted over a campfire.

Reception Guy: Lunatic Number 59,608 please come tell us your crazy story..

Iggy: What number are we?

Fang: 296,987.

Iggy: This could be a while...

Gazzy: Well it's worth it for ham!

**237,379 Numbers Later! **

Reception Guy: Lunatic Number 296,987 come tell us how aliens have effected your life...

Fang: It's not about aliens it's about crazy scientists who experiment with DNA!

Reception Guy: We don't deal with mad scientists on this floor only aliens and UFO's kid try floor 32.

Gazzy: Can we have our ham then?

Reception Guy: I don't sell ham...

Gazzy: Well maybe you should!

Reception Guy: .... I'm going to have to call security.

**Eating Lunch With The Guys! **

Gazzy: FOOD! *shoves three hot dogs into his mouth*

Iggy: What's that sound?

Fang: Ugh Flyboys. I'll take care of it. *Flies into the sky to confront Flyboys* Listen guys we just sat down to have lunch and I'm just really not in the mood to hear Gazzy whine for another hour so if you could just leave and then come back that'd be great!

Flyboy Leader: *robotic voice* We're busy later, we have to start a few wildfires... If you could just you know leave after you eat and pretend we're chasing you...

Fang: Oh sure we'll even scream and run in circles, too.

Flyboy Leader: Well then I guess we'll be leaving then... *to Flyboys* Come on guys it's time to go start some wildfires!

Flyboys: *cheer and fly away*

**With Max!**

Max: I have no soul!

Total: I know I just said that! I can't believe you won't take me to Paris! What's wrong with you!

Max: The French really don't like me, Total. We had a run in a few years back and well... Maybe we can go to Paris after we destroy Itex...

Angel: *creepy voice* I want to go to France, Max.

Max: Sure we'll go to France then!

**Paris, France! **

Total: I'm going to move here once I can get away from all you creeps...

Angel: I'm not a creep...

Nudge: No you kind of are Angel, I mean you had to mind control Max just to get us here, and now we're in Paris eating these cool donut things because you're a freak. I wonder who invented donuts? He must be really famous and rich, or maybe he's dead... That'd be so sad maybe we can go to his grave after this and thank him for making donuts. I love donuts! They go so good with coffee, an-

Max: *grabs Nudge's scarf and wraps it around her head*

Ari: It's really quiet...

Max: I know it's kind of nice....

**In a European Forest Outside of Itex!**

Max: Okay here's the pla-

Nudge: Look it's me! Does my hair really look like that...

Angel: Look and another me! I bet Angel II is as smart as me I should challenge her to a duel!

Max:... please don't.

Nudge: Oh look Max your clone is here, too! It's like a big clone reunion!

Total: I don't have a clone! What the freak! I'm not important enough for there to be two of me! What type of scientists work here! There should be a million Total's that way everyone in the world can experience my awesomeness!

Ari: I'm so glad I'm dying soon...

Max: Please take me with you Ari! Don't leave me alone with these freaks!

**Inside Itex! **

Woman on TV: We will make this world perfect so if you know anyone not perfect please turn them in immediately and you'll get a cookie in reward for your efforts to help make this world a better place!

Max: A whole cookie! *looks at Nudge* we don't really need you do we?

Voice: Max you don't need to be fat and smelly... Now go email Fang you need your whole family here, fatty....

Max: I'm not smelly...

**Emailing Fang! (Nudge is typing)**

Dear, Fang (Nudge: do you start emails with Dear I've always wondered, Oh Max is yelling at me to hurry up!)

Max needs you to come to Germany right away! Because she's obviously madly in love with you and can't be away from you for another second. Get here fast before she does something stupid and kills herself like in that book Romeo and Juliet! (Angel: I love that book Fang! You never finished reading it to me! Can you bring it with you?) Ummm... Max is yelling some sort of threat at you, but since you can't hear her I guess you could just make up your own like: Get over here or I'll hurt you Fang, or I'm going to lock you in a closet with Gazzy for a fews hours, be creative! Well that's it the scary lady's capturing us now! Bye!

Love , Nudge

NEXT TIME! MAX IS CAPTURED IN GERMANY AND FANG COMES TO RESCUE HER (SORT OF)!

*LOL this is from Harry Potter Puppet Pals, it's the best....

~Gabby


	18. Chapter 18

A/N Hey everyone I know it's been forever and a day, but I have the new chapter done now and it's super big so be happy! Basically I've been really busy with school and soccer and just everything else going on. So my posting schedule is going to be crazy until lets say... November? But I started a Twitter account for this so you can get updates on what's going on and the expected post dates and all that other good stuff! If you want to follow it here's the link: /MRSpoof6! Enjoy this super long chapter because I have no idea when the next one will be up!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride I also don't own: The Wizard of Oz, NCIS, Star Wars, Zac Effron/ High School Musical,

CLAIMER: I totally do own: Fangtastic Hair Products. (lol) My martians! (Bill and Frank!)

Chapter Six~ Contains MR chapters: 87 to Epilogue!

**With Max! **

Some Lady: Max I have captured you and your flock, they will be terminated...

Max: What about me.

Some Lady: You have a worse punishment because I am the Director of Itex and your mother!

Max: I don't know being 'terminated' sounds pretty bad I don't think you could do anything worse to me...

Director: Yes I totally could, I could.... Destroy all the chocolate chip cookies in the world!

Max: No don't I'll give you Nudge and the dog please just don't harm the cookies!

**Later! **

Total: THE DOG! I am not the dog! My name is Total and I am a super cute small fashionable and very famous dog and I will not be treated like this!

Angel: Oh Total you've never been that important to the plot anyways....

Total: -_- All of you are only being mean to me because I'm the prettiest one here.

Max: No I'm super pretty why do you think Fang is always trying to kiss me?

Nudge: I always thought it was because he saw his reflection in your eyes and he got closer to stare at himself and then he'd bump into you and he'd need and excuse for being so close to you so he'd kiss you...

Max: I still think it's because I'm prettiest...

**With Fang!**

Fang: Uh-oh...

Iggy: What?

Fang: Somewhere Max is beginning to question my motives for kissing her so often...

Gazzy: *is vibrating because of all the caffeine he's had* You kiss her because we have no mirrors around and you like to look at yourself don't you, Fang?

Fang: -_-

**Later!**

Computer Geek" Oh crap, it's you...

Fang: You could tell because of my stunning hair right?

Computer Geek:........

Fang: I need to save my quasi-girlfriend, so could you send an email to everyone in the world for me?

Computer Geek: Your not going to talk about your hair the whole time right?

Fang:... You people just don't understand....

Computer Geek: Lets get this over with type your message here....

**Fang's Message to the World! **

Hellooooooooooooo people of Earth and China! (Oh Iggy has just informed me China is a part of the Earth) I need a big favor, bigger than asking all of you to go out and buy my new hair products 'Fangtastic hair' I need all of you to band together and break Max out of some evil prison place in Germany. Um I'm not quite sure where it is so maybe you could just run around destroying Europe until you find it. I mean it's not that big of a place.... Oh and a reminder! Don't ask the French about Max they'll freak out! They had a run in a few years back and well... Just don't go to France okay... Oh Iggy wants you to bring him back a French girl, but um.. I don't know how your going to do that if you can't go to France... Oh right! Go save Max my evil minions of darkness save the princess locked away in some evil dungeon!

Peace Out !

Fang the Gangsta!

(Owner of Fangtastic Hair Products!)

**In Germany With Max!**

Max: *muttering* ..they're going to take the cookies away... because Nudge doesn't want to die.... Not that important... the dog... total... talking... Wizard of Oz....

Nudge: Max is talking to herself again!

Ari: *hits Max in the back of the head in true NCIS style*

Max: Thanks...

Angel: What's the Wizard of Oz?

Max: What?

Angel: Oh you were muttering about it before Ari hit you....

Total: Oh My Gawsh! You deprived child you've never seen the classical film the Wizard of Oz! Max you're depriving these children of American culture! They'll be freaks in their own country!

Max: ... they already are...

Total: Well there's no need to make it worse! *to evil scientist standing nearby* Quick I'm going to need a plasma, a DVD player, popcorn and a more cheery atmosphere! Fast before this girl becomes a cabbage! *to Angel* it's okay sweetie, there's no more need to worry... I'll make sure Max doesn't turn you into her...

Max: I'm not that bad...

Total: Oh really! Just look at you! What do you consider yourself some sort of frumpy super powered hobo! No! I'm going to save Angel before it's to late and she goes down the same path of darkness you've chosen!

Max: -_- frumpy hobo?

**A Few Hours Later!**

Nudge: I love marching in circles! It's right up there with living and sleeping! But I've always loved sleeping a little more then living. So marching in circles is third on the list.

Ari: 0_o Please God, just let me drop dead now....

Total: You like sleeping more then living?

Max2: Hello again...

Max: my evil twin! *screams and attacks Max2*

Max2: Oh joy, the less intelligent, real version of me is trying to kill me.

Max: *stops attacking her clone* Why do you sound all emo?

Max2: There's no hope the world is ending... we're all going to die.. *hands Max paper with Fang's email to her on it* Just take the message. Your existence bores me...

Total: .... she seems different... do you think she dyed her hair?

Flock: *face-palm*

Director: *poofs in out of nowhere* Max your my daughter!

Max: 0_o What?

**Way Later, Like After Marching For Hours!**

ter Borcht: You are to come vith me!

Max: I don't think so!

ter Borcht: I haf cookies for de freaks!

Max: 0_o Cookies! Let's go guys!

**After Asian Scientists Poke at Them!**

Max: -_- They didn't have cookies....

Total: That's it Max! I've signed you up for CA!

Max: ....I don't know what that means...

Total: Cookieholics Anonymous! You have a problem girl!

Max: *crying* I don't know how to stop...

Jeb: Max I know this might be a bad time but the Directors not your mother. But *assumes Star Wars pose* Max I am your father!

Max: ...and the day continues to be horrible! I know why my clone went into an emo depression now!

Jeb: But wait I have good news, too! You remember that cookie making doctor from Arizona? She's your mother!

Max: Freak yes! Cookies all the time!

**At The Evil Scientist Pep Rally!**

Total: I love pep rallies! They're just made for peppy spirited people like me!

Max2: *walks by* UGH! I hate spirit and pep!

(one hour later after looking at a bunch of genetically modified freaks!)

Angel: I wish I had a magic suit....

Ari: I wish I'd gone with Fang to LA, but we all don't get what we want now do we...

Angel: ... I don't like you.

Director: *announces to crowd* And now generation Omega, which tops generation mutant bird freaks!

Angel: *giggles as boy comes on stage* He look like Zac Effron...

Nudge: oOoO he got the cute gene...

Both: *giggle*

Ari: Who?

Max: You don't know Zac Effron? What the heck is wrong with you boy? Do you want me to sing you a song and then maybe you'll remember?

Flock: *screams* No, no singing!

Total: Please don't I don't think my ears can take it!

Max: We're all in this together and w-

Omega: Come fight me Max, I will destroy you with my superior strength and good looks.

Max: You don't want to sing first?

Omega: Singing? What is singing... singing does not compute... *explodes*

**With Fangalicious!**

Fang: *is handing out his new hair product* buy my product...

Flyboys: we don't use hair products...

Fang: oh...

Flyboy: The Flock is dead...

Fang: Well thank God they always bugged me...

**With Max!**

Omega: I have won the test of awesomeness!

Max: No you have not! Just because I lost every event does not mean you win!

Omega: The unsmart one is annoying me again.

Director: Don't worry Omega she'll be dead soon... And now battle to the death!

Angel: I command the crowd to turn into a mosh pit!

Crowd: *starts dancing like crazy*

Director: What's going on....

Ari: I'm dying! *dies*

Max: My brother!

Jeb: My son!

Angel: That's right! Dance my minions!

Max: *grabs Director and flies up high* Look you can see France from here!

Director: Put me down!

Max: ... okay... *drops Director*

Director: *screams*

Nudge: Are you going to go get her?

Max: *sighs* God you're ruining the fun Nudge can't you just enjoy the moment?

**Cyber Cafe in Paris! (they're talking to Ig, Gazzy and Fang through a laptop)**

Fang: Is the evil one dead?

Max: 0_o Yes?

Fang: Good I'll be waiting here...

**Epilogue!**

Fang and Max: (who are totally having a moment) I love you!

Rest of the Flock: ...

Iggy: Where's my French girl!

Total: Bonjour beau....

Flock: 0_o

Max: uhhh... we're going to Arizona now...

**Arizona! (It's one of those squarish states towards the west...)**

Dr. Martinez: Max! *hugs Max* The daughter I wished I'd always had!

Ella: ... what about me?

Dr. Martinez: And Fang! *hugs Fang* My future son in-law!

Fang: 0_o what?

Angel: They haven't started dating yet...

Dr. Martinez: Oh....

(fifteen cookies later...)

Max: I love you mom!

Dr. Martinez: :)

Total: I love you Iggy!

Nudge: When's this going to be over?

Fang: Buy my product! Call 1-800-FANGTASTIC-HAIR!

**Mars! **

Bill: *talking to little martians* And that children is why you don't give Max cookies.

Frank: Bill I never quite understood Fang's obsession with his hair....

Bill: No one does Frank... No one does...

~End Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Ahh I can't believe I finally finished the third book! The next chapter will be the Final Warning!

~Gabby :)


	19. Chapter 19 The Final Warning

Maximum Ride SPOOF 4!

A/N ZOMG I'm spoofing book 4, I'm almost caught up with book 5! Soon I'm not going to have anything left to spoof! What will I do then with my life? LOL luckily book 6 is coming out in March and then I can spoof that! Unfortunately I haven't had anytime to write or update, but soccer season is ending in another week and hopefully then I'll have more time to write!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Taco Bell, La Bamba, Star Trek, IHOP,

The Final Warning~

Chapter One~ Contains MR chapters 1 to

**In a Forest! **

Soldier thing: *tries to attack Max*

Fang: STOP! We haven't even had time to relax yet this is ridiculous!

Soldier thing: ... I guess we could come back later?

Max: Thanks, I've got to go to my brother's funeral later... so this is kind of a bad day for me...

Soldier thing: Oh you poor thing, I know just how you feel last week my cat died. It's just horrible having to bury someone you love... I'll always love Miss. Fluffykins...

Iggy: I don't think burying your brother and burying your cat are the same thing....

**In a Different Forest! **

Fang: I love funerals everyone always wears my favorite color!

Max: *crying*

Total: *pushes Fang's ankle's* Well go hug her you moron!

Fang: Oh right! It'll be okay Max. *hugs Max*

Max: You're only comforting me because the dog told you to!

Total: -_- The dog... *emo depression*

Iggy: Isn't that what you are...

Gazzy: I'm hungry does anyone have any carrots!

Angel: Carrots?

Nudge: They're good for your eyes Angel! And they're orange and orange is such a fabtabulous color!

Gazzy: I just wanted one to stab Iggy with...

Iggy: -_- Does everyone hate me? *joins Total in emo depression*

**Later!**

Jeb: Get on the jet Max!

Max: NO! I know of your evil plan! You'll get me into the jet and then you'll blow it up!

Jeb: -_- No Max I'm going on the jet, too. Why would I blow it up?

Max: ... Blah! *storms onto jet*

Jeb: *glares at Fang* Please try to control your psycho girlfriend.

Fang: What! She's your daughter!

Jeb: Yes I know... and I'm not proud of it, I've been thinking of adopting Iggy.

Iggy: Yes, I am loved!

Fang: *face-palm*

**On the Jet! **

Nudge: *attracts soda can with her new power*

Gazzy: Holy Taco Bell! Nudge is magnetic!

Fang: 0_o Taco Bell?

Nudge: I'm Magnet Girl! I'm going to have my own comic and then when I get really popular they'll sell my crime-fighting outfit as a Halloween costume!

Angel: La Bamba!

Iggy: I love that song! .... I can never understand it though... It's in like Japanese....

Nudge: No! Stop talking about music and pay attention to me!

Fang: Iggy La Bamba isn't Japanese, it's obviously Russian!

Max: 0_o I always thought it was French...

Total: Fang I'd never noticed before, but the tips of year ears are kind of pointy.. like Spock from Star Trek...

Jeb: You've all been on this plane for to long...

**At the Hotel! **

Fang: *is staring at Max*

Dr. Martinez: Stop staring at my daughter you stalker! *whacks Fang*

Max: Mom! Stop hitting him, he already has a hard time functioning as it is!

Fang: Did you take an actually shower?

Max: ... no I took a fake one?

Fang: *creepier voice* What happened your skin was tanner before.... *scoots closer to Max*

Max: *scoots away from Fang* Mom it's time for you to hit Fang again!

Jeb: Freaks! It's time to go to a meeting!

**At a Meeting! **

Tall Man: Romans, countrymen, genetically modified freaks lend me your ears! This meeting has begun! Welcome to America 'the flock'. I see you brought your dog!

Total: The Hell with all of you! I'm not just the dog! I have rights! *Total storms out of the meeting*

Lady: 0_o Did that god just talk?

Total: *screams from out in the hallway*

Tall Man: Max we'd like to dissect you and friends, for science!

Fang: GO SCIENCE!

Max: I think it's time to leave...

**Later! **

Gazzy: Let's order a pizza!

Iggy: ¡Si me gusta pizza!

**30 Minutes or Less Later! **

Pizza Man: Here's 85 exploding pizzas' for 'the flock'?

Gazzy: Thanks, * takes pizzas* I do love me some pizza!

Max: Get your paws off my pizzas, fatty! *dives at Gazzy*

Gazzy: Wait! There's a wire in the pizza!

*Flock ducks and runs, pizzas blow up*

**At a New Motel! **

(Everyone is sleeping, but Max and Dr. Martinez)

Dr. Martinez: Sweetie I'm going to have to give you THE TALK if anything is going on between you and Fang...

Max: 0_o Nothings going on! I'm going to bed. *runs away*

**Later That Night!**

Fang: *jumping on top of a sleeping Max* Get up! I want to drag you out to a dock and try to kiss you, so you have to get THE TALK!

Max: *whacks Fang* Go away I'm trying to sleep!

Fang: Get up your ruining the plot!

Max: Fine, but say your line again...

Fang: Yo, Max. Let's take a spin!

Max: Why would I want to do that?

Fang: Just say yes!

Max: .....

Fang: *face-palm, picks Max up and throws her out the window*

**At a Dock! **

Max: This is pretty...

Fang: ....what are you talking about it's nighttime you can't see anything....

Max: I'm feeling a weird sexual tension moment coming up...

Fang: *leans in to try to kiss Max*

Max: *freaks out* I'm Amish! *flies away*

Fang: 0_o what?

**Back At the Motel! **

Max: *stays awake all night pondering her relationship with Fang, wondering if she really wants THE TALK*

Fang: *stays awake all night pondering why as he tries to kiss Max she yelled that she was Amish... and what does that have to do with kissing him?*

**Next Morning! **

Dr. Martinez: Who wants pancakes?

Flock: PANCAKES! *run off to IHOP*

Jeb: NO! You never give them pancakes! Then they'll freak out and be on a sugar high all day!

Gazzy: *screams from IHOP* NO FREAKING WAY, THEY HAVE SYRUP HERE!

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK ATTENDS ANOTHER GOVERNMENT MEETING AND HEAD OUT ON ANOTHER EXCITING NEW ADVENTURE OF BEING ON THE RUN!

~Gabby


	20. Chapter 20

A/N Soooo I have bunches of excuses why this hasn't been updated, in like forever! So I'll just start listing them! Well I had soccer and that took up all my time tell the beginning of November, then after our last soccer game I got sick for about two weeks (that was so much fun *sarcasm*). After that I had to do all my make up work and then it was Thanksgiving (I helped my aunt set up the whole event, it was kind of fun) and my friends birthday. So basically I haven't really had a free moment to write until... right now... So enjoy this chapter and hopefully now that everything has calmed down a little I can write more frequently, and update more often! But for now enjoy chapter two of the spoofed Final Warning!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Zoey 101, Jell-O, Harry Potter, Mexico, France, Canada, or Antarctica.

Chapter Two~ Contains MR chapters 14 to 27

**At Another Meeting! **

An Old Dude: We're going to build a special school just for you! Isn't that exciting?

Iggy: Like a school, school?

Some Lady: Yes a school where you children can learn!

Dr. Martinez: Finally, a place were we can educate these dunces!

Angel: I'm not a dunce!

Dr. Martinez: Oh, no not you, Angel! I mean the rest of the flock....

Flock: -_-

An Old Dude: Yes it'll kind of be like a boarding school.

Nudge: Like Zoey 101! Are we all going to go to PCA!

Some Lady: ... no not at all like PCA...

Gazzy: I don't want to go!

An Old Man: TO BAD FREAK YOU AREN'T WANTED ANYWHERE ELSE!

Flock: ....

Max: ... Can I say something?

An Old Dude: Sure...

Max: I don't like this whole school idea, would we be with other children?

Some Lady: *surprised* Of course not! We couldn't risk exposing normal children to you!

Fang: YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE FREAKS!

Some Lady: Oh sweetie, you're one of those freaks...

Max: That's it we're leaving, you've already upset Fang enough... and I hear the grocery store is having a sale on Jell-O!

Total: No freaking way, I love Jell-O! *Flock leaves*

**In The Air!**

Gazzy: I'm going to dive-bomb the Pentagon!

Max: No!

Gazzy: *swoops down and almost touches the Pentagon's roof*

(Two jets suddenly appear in the air)

Fang: You violated the Pentagon's airspace!

Jets: *try to destroy the flock in an air battle, with LASERS! okay not with lasers....*

Max: Quick hide in that conveniently placed forest!

**Later!**

(Max skips off to go call her mother.)

Max: Hey mom we're all okay, but...

Dr. Martinez: what's with the but...?

Max: There wasn't any Jell-O left at the store Total's been crying this whole time...

Total: *crying* I'l-l b-e ok-ay...

Dr. Martinez: 0_o okay well if you need anything just call me and remember if anything is going on between you and the goth boy... I'm going to have to give you THE TALK! Bye!

Fang: So what'd she say?

Max: -_- nothing important...

**Wayyy Later After The Flock Dumpster Dived For Dinner, Later! **

(Fang magically disappears ((he obviously borrowed Harry's invisibility cloak..)) and Max freaks.)

Max: Where'd Fang go! How am I supposed to live withou-

(Fang reappears)

Max: 0_o heyyy you're back... how much of that did you hear?

Fang: Max luuuves me! And I have a new power!

Nudge: I want to be invisible, too! *gets really still and quiet*

Gazzy: Nope, I can still see you!

Total: Gazzy! Don't ruin the silence, it's nice and quiet without Nudge talking!

Max: Guys I want to talk!

Flock: *talks over Max*

Max: I WANT TO TALK!

Iggy: Go ahead Max we're all listening.

Max: -_- I forgot what I was going to say...

Fang: Your almighty and powerful leader has spoken!

**Underground With The Evil People! **

Uber-Director: Are the preparations to auction off the freaks complete?

Uber-Director's assistant: Yes they are sir! *starts to laugh evilly*

Uber-Director: -_- It is not yet time to laugh maniacally... Now it is time! *laughs maniacally*

**Back With The Flock! **

Max: We need to find somewhere to hide.

Iggy: Like Mexico!

Max: -_- No, not Mexico.

Fang: We don't speak Spanish, Iggy...

Nudge: I want to go to France I love it there! They have all those nice scarfs and pastries!

Gazzy: I don't want to go to France...

Total: I vote Canada!

Max: why...

Total: They're our friendly bacon loving, syrup making friends to the north! What's not to love about Canada!

Fang: I vote no to Canada because Total voted yes...

Angel: Excuse me, but I have an announcement! I have a new power! *changes to look like a bird of paradise*

Max: Dear Lord, what did I do to deserve this....

Angel: I can change my hair and my skin and stuff, too!

Fang: *faints*

Max: Angel, you know better then that, making Fang faint is a no-no.

Angel: Okay Max. *changes back to normal.*

Nudge: Max we sure a mutating a lot...

Max: Yep that's what makes us so special! Now go to bed!

**Later (Possibly In The Morning)!**

Voice: Max fly here!

Max: Get up! We have to go somewhere!

Fang: Are the voices in your head talking to you again?

Max: Shut up! I only have one voice, Mr. Faints-a-lot!

Fang: Mr. Faints-a-lot?

Iggy: *giggling* you have such a manly name F-nick...

Total: Because giggling like a school girl is manly...

Iggy: -_- Shut up!

Max: We're leaving now!

**At Wherever The Voice Told Max To Go! **

Dr. Martinez: *tackles Max into a hug*

Max: Mom I've been gone for a day...

Dr. Martinez: I missed you so much!

Fang: Why'd you make us fly all the way here?

Dr. Martinez: *glares at Fang and grumbles* Goth boy... want to date my daughter....

Max: 0_o Mom are you talking to yourself?

Dr. Martinez: No... I'm sending you to the land of the penguins Max! And I'm sending along a distraction for Fang so you two don't start dating!

Brigid: Hello, my name is Brigid!

Fang: *drools* hot....

Max: MOM!

Dr. Martinez: I'm sorry Max, but this is the only option you've left for me! You won't let me give you the talk, but yet you keep almost dating Fang! So this is my solution! I'm going to put you and the flock on a tiny boat with another girl to keep Fang distracted! Before you get on the boat though you'll have to get on a jet and then on a boat and then to a remote area in Antarctica! This will keep you and Fang apart forever!

Jeb: Or at least for one book....

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK GETS A RIDE ON A PRIVATE JET AND BOARDS A BOAT TO THE LAND OF THE PENGUINS!

~Gabby


	21. Chapter 21

A/N AHHHH Happy Belated Holidays! And Happy New Year! My New Year's resolution is to try and post on a schedule! Like every thursday or something! Not like once a month... But that's okay because this chapter takes us more then half way through the fourth book, which leaves me only a book and a half, to spoof before the new book comes out in March! By the way the first like 3 chapters of FANG are in the 2nd book of the Maximum Ride Manga series. I went to Borders the other night, just to read them. (I'm such a crazy fan...) Anyways it seems like it's going to be an okay book, but then again I only read three chapters... So it could possibly the best book ever! Anyways here's chapter three of the spoofed Final Warning!!!! (I apologize in advanced if this isn't all that funny, I've just finished almost three hours of english homework hell...)

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Elmo, religion, Disney World, or Antarctica.

Chapter Three~ Contains MR chapters 27 to 40

**On a Plane!**

Max: I still don't understand why we couldn't fly to .... where are we going again...

Dr. Martinez: Do not make me repeat my evil rant from the last chapter! You're going to Antarctica!

Brigid: *looks at Fang* Hey Fang!

Fang: *melts into a puddle of goo, mumbling* The hot girl knows my name...

Max: *jealousy*

Dr. Martinez: MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING!

Iggy: ... is Antarctica nice this time of year?

Max: SHUT UP!

Angel: Iggy, Antarctica is never nice anytime of the year... It's a bunch of ice and snow and the only thing that lives there year round are penguins...

Nudge: I love penguins! There like funny birds in black and white tuxedos, I wonder if they tell jokes...... o_0

**Later! **

(Dr. Martinez has mysteriously disappeared off the plane due to the writer of the fanfic putting her on the plane for fun...)

Total: *whiny voice* Are we there yet?

Max: Nooo....

(Plane Lands)

Gazzy: *Throws open the door to the plane and jumps out*

(Sirens go off and a life boat pops out of the plane)

Max: Every time we go somewhere you just have to set of some loud annoying alarm!

Gazzy: I don't understand why a plane would have an alarm! Who would steal a plane!

Fang: I'd like a plane...

Max: You have wings you emo-doofus!

Fang: -_- I'm not emo...

Nudge: What's emo?

Angel: I think it's like Elmo, but you know without the L....

Iggy: No, its not like that at all...

Nudge: ... is it a song?

Iggy: *facepalm* no.

Brigid: *escapes off the plane*

Gazzy: Look a boat!

Iggy: Lets go blow it up!

Max: NO! That's the boat we're going to The Magically Wonderful Land Of The Penguins in!

**On The Boat That's On It's Way To The Magically Wonderful Land Of The Penguins!**

Max: *nudges Fang* look this section of the chapter is named after what I just said...

Fang: Great... maybe later you could say, 'Fang starts dating Brigid the hot scientist', and that'll end up happening.

Max: I HOPE BRIGID DIES !

Fang: *screams* NO! What's wrong with you! *runs off to go make sure Brigid is still alive*

Max: WITH MY NEW FOUND POWER I COULD RULE THE WORLD!... or maybe just this fanfic...

Voice In The Sky: No Max! That's my job!

Max: *screams* A VOICE FROM THE SKY! I BEG YOUR EXTREME FORGIVENESS... Yahweh, God, Allah, ermm Zeus?

Voice In The Sky: No Max it's just the writer of this story...

Max: Oh... sorry...

**At A Meeting With Scientist And Junk! **

Max: *whips out her wings*

Random Scientist: 0_o Why aren't they attached to your arms?

Fang: ...because that would be weird...

Total: I can talk! I would also like some food!

Scientists: *pass out*

**After The Scientists Wake Back Up! (and get the flock some food!)**

Brigid: The world is in danger because of global warming!

Iggy: Why do you need us though?

Brigid: *looking at Fang* Because we need your super special world saving abilities!

Fang: *nudges Max* she called me special!

Max: #^*&!

Nudge: Guys Max invented a new word!

Iggy: Fang is in looooooooovvveeeeee.....

Gazzy: *holding up a bagel* Does this smell funny to you?

Total: Gross!

Max: I want to get off this boat!

Fang: I'm still hungry...

Brigid: Oh, Fang! Let's go and get some more food for you!

(Brigid and Fang leave.)

Max: I'm going back to my cabin and then I'm going to crawl into bed and die...

Total: Take me with you!

**Later! (After Max dies and comes back to life!)**

Fang: *stops Max in a hallway*

Max: What do you want...

Fang: I heard you died and came back to life... So are you like Jesus now, or a zombie?

Max: -_- Run away Fang I'm going to eat your brains...

**The Next Day!**

Max: Hey Nudge, where are Angel, Fang and Iggy?

Nudge: Playing Poker with a few scientists...

Max: Angel is playing poker! ....how much is she winning by?

Nudge: We almost have enough money to buy a house right next to Disney World, so we can go to Disney everyday!

Max: 0_o I love Disney!

Fang: *poofs in out of no where* More then you love me?

Max: Yes!

Fang: *depressed, poofs back to poker game*

Angel: *runs on deck with a wad of cash and points at a random wave* Look a whale! *dives into the ocean*

**Later! **

Scientist: We should be able to see land soon!

Iggy: I don't see anything!

Nudge: *asks Max* Can I hit him this time?

Max: Yes.

Nudge: *whacks Iggy* That was fun!

Everyone: *starts to whack Iggy until he is unconscious*

**In Antarctica! **

Fang: ....it's so white here.....

Max: ...and.

Fang: And I like black, white is the opposite of black... and black isn't white and white isn't black and there's a lot of white, to much white....

Angel: I think he's going to have a melt down...

Max: *gleefully* Maybe he'll explode!

Fang: Brigid wouldn't keep wishing me painful deaths!

Max: Then why don't you go hang out with the currently blonde Brigid!

Fang: Fine, I think I will!

Iggy: I CAN SEE!

Max & Fang: SHUT UP!

Total: *to Iggy* I think it's cool that you can see again...

Iggy: *sighs* Thanks Total...

NEXT TIME! IGGY CAN'T REALLY SEE! THE EVIL GUYS COME INTO THE STORY! MAX HELPS TO SAVE THE WORLD! AND ANGEL WANTS A BABY PENGUIN!

~Gabby


	22. Chapter 22

A/N Soooo I'm posting on time.. I just had the craziest day at school... Some guy tried to kill himself by jumping off the roof of our school... So they locked all of us students into the auditorium and the gym while they took care of it... we were in there for like an hour and a half! The guy is now in the hospital in critical condition. (I don't know who he is...) Well I'll stop rambling! Here's another chapter of the ever growing MR Spoof!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Star Wars, Frankenstein, Twitter, or Spiderman.

Chapter Four~ Contains MR chapters 40 to 59

**In The Magically Wonderful Land Of The Penguins AKA Antarctica!**

Max: So Iggy can't really see...

Iggy: Nope, I'm still blind...

Fang: Iggy can see whiteness.

Total: That sucks for you, Iggy!

Iggy: -_-

**With The Evil Baddies! **

Uber-Director: I shall destroy the flock and Antarctica! Go assistant kill them for me!

UD's Assistant: 0_o that's not what I signed up for...

Uber-Director: *sighs* well then sign someone else up to kill them!

**Later With The Evil Baddies! **

UD's Assistant: Look Uber-Director! I found this guy to destroy the flock! He's a combination of Yoda and Frankenstein...

Uber-Director: YES! I shall call him Gozen! For short we can call him ugly!

Gozen: *terribly offended* Ugly I'm not...

UD's Assistant: He even talks like Yoda!

Uber-Director: Ugly go prepare the troops to DESTROY THE WORLD!... I mean capture the flock...

**With The Mutants And Their Dog! **

Total: -_- has anyone seen the title to this section...

Fang: *laughs* they called you a dog!

Total: I am a talking canine American! I deserve some respect!

Max: Shut Up!! I'm trying to write about penguins!

Fang: 0_o why?

Max: I'm going to be a scientist and save the world from getting warmer!

Fang: *facepalm*

Giant Monster (formerly known as a leopard seal): *leaps out of the water and grabs a scientist dragging her into the water... to probably feed it's monster babies*

Max: Ahhh I've got to help! *jumps into water to save scientist*

Fang: No don't leave me! I've suddenly realized I love you, again!

Max: *Jumps out of water with scientist*

Fang: Now that you're okay, I'm going to go back to loving blonde Brigid... before she turns into a redhead...

Random Scientist: Ahhhh she's dead and a robot!

Fang: *starts to leave*

Max: o_0 where are you going?

Fang: I have to update my Twitter status to: I just saw someone being eaten by a leopard seal! and then I have to blog about it! I have fans Max and I have to keep them happy!

Nudge: OMG I heard about Twitter can you believe Miley Cyrus deleted her account.

Fang: I know like who does that? *leaves to go update Twitter*

Max: What just happened?

**Later! **

Head Scientist Man: Today the Flock is going to observe ice!

Gazzy: Yes! Wait what?

Angel: Why are we going to watch ice?

Head Scientist Man: Because if it starts melting then we know the Earth is warming up!

Other Scientist: Yes! And take Brigid with you!

Flock: *leaves to go watch ice...*

Scientist: Finally we've gotten rid of them...

Head Scientist Man: Yes and we have also sent away blonde Brigid!

Other Scientist: I don't understand how does her hair turn red anyways?

Head Scientist Man: Well you see Mark, Brigid is like a werewolf except instead of turning into a hideous beast, because you know she already is one, once a month her hair color mysteriously changes to red...

**With The Flock And Brigid! **

Angel: I want a baby penguin!

Max: No!

Angel: *bambi eyes* Please.

Max: Must.... resist.... No!

Angel: -_- Okay...

Max: My Spider Senses are tingling... Somethings wrong!

Iggy: Besides Fang and Brigid like almost dating?

Max: *knocks Iggy into a snow bank* Never mind nothings wrong... every thing's good and I just administered some karma...

**Later After The Flock Realizes The Scientists Had Fooled Them Into Watching Ice For Three Hours! **

Fang: Why are you ignoring me?

Max:-_-........

Gazzy: Has anyone seen Angel?

Max: YES! You have saved me! *points to Gazzy* New favorite Flock member!

Fang: *facepalm*

Gazzy: YES! I've always wanted to be the favorite Flock member!

**With Angel, Total and Akila! **

Total: Angel I cannot believe you got me and Akila stuck in this hole!

Angel: I didn't mean to! I saw this penguin and I followed it!

Total: We're all going to die!

**Back With The Scientists and Max and Fang! **

Scientist: I can't let you leave Max! It's snowing outside!

Max: *decks scientist* Come on Fang!

Fang: *talking to himself* I don't get it... She wanted to get away from me a second ago and now she wants me to go with her... Maybe its a trap!

Gazzy: You know we can all hear you, right?

Max & Fang: *leave to go find Angel*

**In The Air! **

Max: *screams over the wind* Why did we decided to fly?

Fang: *screams back* I thought it would be faster!

Max: I think we're in a tornado!

Fang: ... do they get those in Antarctica?

Max: I don't know!

Fang: Look penguin tracks!

Max: Angel wanted one! Let's follow the tracks!

**On The Ground With Max and Fang! **

Max: Helloooooooooooooooo, Angel are you there? *starts to fall into a hole*

Fang: *grabs Max before she ends up in the hole with Angel*

Max: Oh Thanks, Fang!

Fang: *thinking to himself* Why didn't I just let her fall I could've gotten away... gone somewhere warm....

Angel: Max! Quick pull me up first I'm most important!

Max: No Angel we have to pull the dogs out first.

Fang: Yeah where would we be without Total's snappy humor?

Angel: ...your not going to save me first?

Max: No! Tie the rope around the dogs first!

**After! In A Cave Made By Max and Fang! **

Angel: I'm sleepy....

Fang: Good go to slee-

Max: *whacks Fang* No, that's bad she probably has hypothermia you moron!

Fang: ... I don't know one less Flock member doesn't seem like that big a deal to me...

Max: Fine! Then you can hold your breath and drink some bleach when we get back!

Total: I'm getting this crazy vibe that you two are fighting...

Gozen: *punches his hand through the snow and pulls Max and Fang out by their hair*

Fang: 0_o Hey look it's Yoda....

Max: *giggles* You're green...

Gozen: -_- You two aren't even worthy to be killed by me...

NEXT TIME! THE EVIL BADDIES CAPTURE THE FLOCK AND BRING THEM TO MIAMI FLORIDA? ISN'T THAT BACKWARDS?

~Gabby


	23. Chapter 23

A/N Hello lovely readers and even lovelyier reviewers!!! Keeping with my New Year's resolution I am updating yet again! (I'll try to update at-least once a week, until I run out of books to spoof that is... is spoofing a noun???) And I've also added a link to my Twitter page at the bottom of the chapter, because I'm always updating that you can follow latest story news there. (Like when I go missing for weeks and you want to know where, check there... that rhymed :)) Anyways besides that, I don't have school next Monday! So I should have plenty of time to write the last chapter to the Final Warning then!!! And then we move onto MAX!!! (So much excitement!!!) But for now enjoy the chapter!!! ((And review!!))

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Star Wars, Feng Shui, or Oprah and her show!

Chapter Five~ Contains MR chapters 59 to 64

**In Antarctica Where the Evil Baddies (opposed to you know good baddies) Are Capturing the Flock! **

Max: Whoa ice ghosts are attacking us!

Angel: They're not ghosts!!!!

Total: No wayy they're ghosts.... ghosts aren't this ugly.

Gozen: Quite dog you shall be!

Fang: Still talking like Yoda, I see.

Gozen: WTF!!!!! Everyone does say that why! Seen that freaking movie I have not!

Angel: Maybe you should.....

Gozen: *picks up Angel and snaps her in half her arm in half like a twig.* Girl who is small, I am not short green alien, who speaks funny!

Max: 0_o He just broke her arm....

Angel: ..... well I thought that would hurt more....

Gozen: Oh wait! I skipped a line! I'll just say it now: I love to kill things in many ways! [Insert maniacal laugh here]

Fang: ... see it's not as good now, because you just kind of killed your 'bad guy trumps the good guys moment'. [insert lightbulb over head] Maybe we could go back and do it again and then you could break Angel's arm like you were supposed to!

Gozen: Has good ideas the goth one does....

Fang: -_- I'm not goth...... *is totally dressed in all black from head to toe and with new added depression looks goth*

Max: *sigh* Just take us to Miami, Yoda.

**On A Plane To Miami! (where all the evil baddies live...) **

Max: *looks around and sees everyone from the flock on the plane* Oh shit... you're all here... I thought maybe.... but I guess not....

Iggy: Are you implying that you hoped we were still stuck in Antarctica, or hmmmm maybe dead?

Max: No.... I love you guys.... well mostly Fang, but the rest of you are slightly important to the plot and all that junk....

Nudge: -_- I feel so unwanted.... I mean when do I ever bug any of you? I mean I don't ev- 0_o whoaaaaaaa look at that cloud it's shaped like a bunny a giant, floppy eared, cuddly, huggable, lovable bunnykin... I love you fluffy bunny cloud.....

Max: -_- ... yes we all love you Nudge....

Fang: I can't believe you said it....

Max: What?

Fang: *goofy smile* You said you me!

Max: Oh jeez.

Fang: I'm soooooooooo close to getting a date with you *goofy smile*.

Max: *facepalm*

Iggy: Love is in the air...

Angel: -_- Does no one care about me? I am injured....

Gazzy: Shhhhh! If they get together now we won't have to hear Fang angst about it for the rest of the book!

Fang: I do love me some angst...

Gozen: Hello Gozen I am!

Nudge: Food?

Gozen: -_- Food I am not, you deranged bird child...

Nudge: *disappointment*

Gazzy: You look like Yoda... except taller.... and more muscly... like a Yoda on steroids, you still talk funny though.

Gozen: -_- Now I'll leave....

Max: Gazzy, that wasn't nice you hurt his feelings!!! He'll probably need therapy!

Ari: *poofs in out of the land of the dead* I give great therapy!!!!

Fang: Ahhhh a ghost!!! *hides behind Max*

Max: Very manly of you Fang....

Fang: ...I'm always manly in the face of danger...

Total: Oh yeah, you look very manly hiding behind your quasi-girlfriend.

Ari: Sooo if no one needs therapy I'll just be leaving now.... *poofs back to the land of the dead*

Max: No! He was my brother.......

Fang: *angst* My almost-girlfriend doesn't love me! *goes to pout in his emo corner (do planes have corners?) of the plane*

Iggy: 0_o Dear Lord, kill me now I can't handle another fourteen hours of this!

Angel: *facepalm* ...why am I smarter then all of you?

**In Miami! (where the Flock apparently doesn't want to be... they want to go back to the Magical Land of the Penguins obviously, where all bird kids want to live!) **

Max: Where are we?

Gozen: Miami! ...maybe we could go on a date later?

Max: *creeps closer to Fang* I'll stick with emo boy... -_- I really don't have a lot of options do I...

Fang: *feeling insulted* I wish the author would go back to picking on Iggy....

Gabby: Hey!!! Stop breaking the fourth wall you out of control characters! You're all OOC now!!!

Iggy: Weren't we always?

Gabby: ARGH!!!!!!!!

Total: I enjoy you making fun of Fang... he has been quite emo lately...

Gabby: Thank you Total, now on with story!!!!

Iggy: Oh crap, Angel's arm is still broken. *grabs Angel's arm and magically snaps it back into place (because he's awesome like that)*.

Angel: *turns green* I don't think you were supposed to do that...

Iggy: Well I thought it'd help speed the story up...

Max: Uh-huh thanks Ig.

Fang: There's not enough black in this room!

Max: *facepalm* We're captured, and you're worrying about the room color?

Fang: I think this room's Feng Shui is off, and it's giving me a headache! So yes I think more black could possibly help! I mean just look at the wall color! It totally clashes with the carpet!

Nudge: It looks like a hurricane outside, because it's so windy and WHOA look a palm tree just flew by and there's a ca-

Fang: Shut up Nudge! I think my decorating issue is bigger then your little hurricane!

Nudge: -_- ...it's not little.

**Later! (when Yoda figures out most people need food to survive!) **

Gozen: I brought you a wide variety of food, because I don't know what mutants like yourselves eat!

Gazzy: Why aren't you talking funny anymore?

Gozen: I got some help....

**(FLASHBACK!)**

Oprah: Well what seems to be the problem, Gozen?

Gozen: Told I have been that I talk funny.

Oprah: *starts laughing* Oxygen! I need I oxygen! *laughs* ... I'm sorry so what's wrong again?

Gozen: Talk funny I do...

Oprah: *hysterical laughing fit* Yes, you do. *looks at camera* and we'll be back after this break!

**(PRESENT TIME!)**

Gozen: Now I don't talk funny...

Fang: 0_o that was cool... we went like back in time....

Max: .... thanks for the food then...

Gozen: Sure.... *leaves*

Nudge: I found birdseed!

Flock: *busts out laughing*

Angel: Where's Fang?

Fang: *in emo corner totally eating all the birdseed*

Max: .... and I like you why?

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK MEETS MORE EVIL BADDIES! (BECAUSE THEY'RE MORE THEN JUST YODA!) AND NUDGE'S 'LITTLE' HURRICANE DESTROYS MIAMI!

~Gabby

((Whenever I add the link here it deletes it so just type in twitter-com (take out the dash and add a dot) and add /MRSpoof6 to the end of it, that should get you to the page, hopefully lol))


	24. Chapter 24

A/N Here's the next new chapter! And I'm off to go distract my mother! And hopefully she'll forget to take me to the doctor's! *shivers* needles.... (I'm terrified of them...) Sooooo enjoy the last chapter of the Final Warning! The first chapter of Max should be up next week!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Fanfiction, Greek mythology (...does anyone own that?), McDonald's, Star Wars, Charlie the Unicorn, The Sixth Sense, Gossip Girl, Comcast, Verizon Fios, US Congree, Area 51, the FBI, or American Idol.

CLAIMER~ I do own my Martians: Bill and Frank.

Chapter Six~ Contains MR chapters 64 to Epilogue.

**In Miami! (after Fang has eaten his birdseed.)**

Gozen: I'm here to bring you to the auction!

Fang: Will there be more birdseed there?

Max: *facepalm* No Fang.

Nudge: Why is it sooooo windy outside? All the trees look like they're dancing! But they're not they're just swayyyyying in the wind...

Gozen: Yes, babbling one there is a hurricane outside.

Gazzy: Isn't that kind of dangerous?

Gozen: Yes! Now come on, the goth mutant can have more birdseed at the auction!

Fang: *happily skips after Gozen*

Max: *angrily shakes fist at the sky* I know you're listening!!! Yes you the one writing this Fanfiction! Stop making Fang weird! I have to date him in the next book, and I refuse to do so if he's still in his birdseed loving state! Go back to picking on Iggy!!

Gabby: .... well I haven't picked on Iggy in a while.....

Iggy: *shrieks at the sky* NO! NOT AGAIN!

Total: -_- ... why are we all yelling at the sky? Are we hating on Zeus again? YOU NEVER PAID ME BACK FROM THE POKER GAME WE PLAYED ZEUS!!!!

Gabby: *facepalm*

**The Flock Meets the Uber-Director a.k.a The Guy Made of Hamster Boxes.... **

Uber-Director: Hello I am the Uber-Director and I will be selling you today.

Gazzy: 0_o How many hamsters fit inside you?

Uber-Director: What?

Gazzy: You look like a giant box city, for you know hamsters!

Uber-Director: ... the boy is defective we will have to sell him for less.

Angel: My brother's not defective! He's just not the smartest one in the family, that'd be me! one day I'm going to take over the flock and then the world!!!!! [Insert evil laugh here.]

Uber-Director: The blonde girl is also defective....

Max: You should just give up on the 'selling us thing' because we're not going to go for a lot of cash.

Fang: Max is right! I'll give you the run down since you seem to be new to this. Max is the leader, Gods knows why... I am Fang, the awesomest person in the flock, that's because I have great hair, and I'm a girl magnet. Next is Iggy... he's not really that special...

Iggy: HEY!

Fang: Nudge is next, she's the one we can't get to stop talking. Next is Gazzy he's obsessed with McDonald's and farting. Finally we have Angel the most weird member of the flock, who thinks she'll one day take over the world.

Angel: I don't think! I know!

Uber-Director: -_- well... shit my evil plan is screwed.

Iggy: Heyyy, who wants to see me make this conference table into a bomb?

Gozen: Uber-Director, these children are not as smart as you told me they were...

**The Auction Has Started!**

(The flock has come up with a brilliant plan, to not get bought! They're going to go crazy and convince the buyers they're not worth they're money!)

Fang: My special talent is writing depressing poetry! Lately I've been into Haiku! Want to here one?

Max: I can do a cartwheel! *falls down*

Gazzy: Yes, believe it or not Yoda here, used to talk very funny!

Iggy: *runs into a wall*

Nudge: I can say up to a million words per minute! Do you want to see! !!!!!!

Angel: I see dead people...

Total: So basically I missed last weeks episode of Gossip Girl and I don't know what I'm going to do they don't even have it On Demand, I mean damn Comcast! If you ain't got my gossiping girls I'm just going to get Fios! You know what I mean!

Gozen: They seem to be out of control... and Uber-Director what is a Gossip Girl?

Uber-Director: Oh Gozen, how lucky you are that you don't know....

Gozen: Should I end the auction then?

Hurricane: No let me do that for you! *Destroys the skyscraper the flock is in*

Nudge: Thanks hurricane!!

Hurricane: *waves* Your welcome, Nudge! *goes on to destroy the rest of Miami*

(The flock gets to safety in a hallway and the Uber-Director and Gozen are swept up into Nudge's new best friend!!)

Iggy: -_- I think I'll miss Yoda and Hamster-Man they were both so nice!

Fang: *nods in agreement* Yeah they were, they had the best birdseed....

Max: *facepalm* I'm going to call my mom now.

**Washington DC! **

Max: I'm going to throw up all over you Fang!

Fang: Not my hair!

(Max is going to throw up because she's about to speak in front of Congress, about global warming.)

**In Front of Congress!**

Max: After my mom sent me away to Antarctica to keep me and Fang from dating I realized something!

Fang: YOU LOVE ME?

Max: No! That global warming actually exists. I thought it was one of those government coverups like Area 51.

(FBI agents sift uncomfortably in the audience)

Max: So fix I'm telling you to fix it you idiots! That'll be all, peace out!

Dr. Martinez: *facepalm*

Iggy: *jumps on stage* And I hear that Simon is quitting American Idol next year, so if you need a new judge I'm right here!

Congress: WTF?

**At an Opening Ceremony! (where all mutants are invited!) **

Some Guy: We made a special school for you freaks!

Max: 0_o Learning...

Voice: Not today Max! You still have to save the world, education isn't that important!

Fang: Oh Thank God! *to Max* Did you see the principal's hair! We can't go to school here! He was like bald! No hair Max! No hair! If that's how people end up here, I can't do it!

Iggy: Shhhh... it's okay Fang the baldy isn't going to hurt you...

Total: Somehow I think you might need education...

Iggy: *sneezes* SOMEONE'S TALKING ABOUT ME!!! I feel so loved!

**On Bill and Frank's Oh-So-Cool Alien Space Ship! **

Bill: Yes when we invade Earth, we shall abduct the blind mutant first!

Frank: Yesss *evil cackle* .... those Earthling are sooo stupid, who names their planet after dirt?

**With The Author of The Fanfiction! **

Gabby: *rolls eyes* Oh yes Iggy you are loved... BY CRAZY MARTIANS WHO ARE GOING TO ABDUCT YOU!

~End The Final Warning

~Gabby :)


	25. Chapter 25 MAX

A/N SOOO lovely readers I have good and bad news! The good news is that the next chapter is here! And more good news me and my friend (up and coming writer) are writing a story together! It will be up before the sixth Maximum Ride comes out. It's what we think is going to happen in the sixth book. I have my half done! So now lazy just has to do her half :) So watch out for that! I'll tell you here when we post it! (Oh right I was supposed to tell you nice things about up and coming writer... maybe I'll skip that...) :) anyways it's fun writing a story with your best friend who lives far far away, like almost in Mexico... Everyone should try it (I'm stalling... I don't like bad news....). The bad news is... no chapter next week :( I have to skip updating every once and a while, because I still have over a month 'til the next book comes out, soooo soon I won't have anything to post. But noooo worries the week after that I'll have a new chapter!!!!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Hulu, Star Trek, Dr. Seuss, Tokyo, Taco Bell, or Texas!

MAX~

Chapter One~ Contains MR chapters prologue to 15

**In California Somewhere! (With a character we've never meet!! ((excitement!)))**

(Some guy named Devin, who has a gun welded to his arm... is going to shoot the flock... or maybe just Max?)

Devin: I cannot shoot her.... it's not fair... I know I should chase her around a bit first then kill her! *Sigh* ... that'd be a lot of work... on second thought I think I'm justing going to shoot her.

**With The Flock In the Sky Above New Character Devin! **

(The Flock is doing air shows to promote a new organization called CSM, they're a lot like Hulu... they also want to take over the world!)

Max: *does a crazy flip*

Fang: I like it here, they give us food and these regular showers are good for my hair! And now I can promote my shampoo! And maybe Iggy can finally get a girlfriend!

Iggy: -_- You don't have one either, jerk.

Fang: Max, is my almost girlfriend! It's close enough!

Iggy: ....

Fang: Do you want to end up marrying Total?

Total: You think I'd marry *points at Iggy* that!

Devin: *tries to shoot at Max*

Angel: *falls on top of Max and knocks them both out of the way*

Fang: *frowns* Angel stole my super hero moment! Now Max will never love me!

Devin: Shit I missed... well time to go!

Fang: *swerves close to Max* Heyyy so you know id I had been closer I would've totally saved you...

Max: Right...

Fang: Because I'm a ninja!

Max: Dear Zeus...

Iggy: Are you writing him a letter?

Angel: ... so is Iggy the stupid one now?

Max: Yes sweetie.

Nudge: Aren't we going to chase after the sniper man?

Max: *sigh* I suppose so.

(Flock flies after Devin)

Total: Hello I'm injured!

**Six Feet Away From the Building New Character Devin Is Hiding In! **

Devin: I think I'm going to blow up the building instead of facing the wrath of Max. *explodes building*

Flock: *Is almost turned into Fried Flock Surprise*

**Three Days Later! (with a talent agent guy in Holly freaking Wood!)**

Talent Guy: I hear you want to be stars!

Max: No

Talent Guy: ...models?

Max: No

Fang: ... I kind of like that one..

Max: *glares* no

Talent Guy: Singers?

Nudge: 0_o Yes

Max: No!

Talent Guy: Action Figures?

Iggy: No but I have always wanted to meet Spock from you know Star Trek... how do they get his ears so pointy?

Talent Guy: Ermmm...

Fang: I think you should buy my sham-

Max: *grabs Fang* Come on we're leaving.

Gazzy: *whines* But they have food here!

Angel: *grabs Gazzy* Maybe we'll stop somewhere... like a dumpster.

Gazzy: Garbage for dinner again!

**Later! **

Fang: I say we don't do the air shows.

Max: WHAT! I MAKE THE DECISIONS I'M THE LEADER, PUNK!

Flock: *escapes room like scared animals*

Fang: Fine we can do the next one then! Because the new red haired Brigid will be there!

Max: ARGH, she has red hair now! I hate her more just for that!

**At Night With Angel And Max! **

Angel: Fang loves you.

Max: ...Fang loves everyone.

Angel: You guys should get married in new Hampshire!

Max: *Dr. Seuss Mode* No one's getting married! not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep before I kill you!

Angel: 0_o You should write a book for small children!

Max: *facepalm*

**Mexico with Dr. Amazing (now improved with red hair) and The Flock! **

Nudge: There's so much pollution here! I bet half of it is radioactive! I'm sooo growing a second mouth then I can talk more wouldn't that be great!!!

Gazzy: My head hurts and I'm still hungry!

Fan Girls: FANG WILL ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD! ALL HAIL OVERLORD FANG!

Max: -_- Fang what did you write on your blog now?

Fang: Nothing .... Lady Overlord...

Brigid: *stepping right in between Max and Fang* Well I hope I'm not ruining the moment, but since FAng is such a hero I say we all praise him! I mean he spoke in front of Congress!

Max: Hellooo that was me!

Brigid: Right....

Ninjas: *start to attack flock*

Fang: Hold up my brethren! It is me Fang a fellow ninja!

Ninjas: You're hair is to nice for you to be a ninja....

Fang: No! It's true! I am a ninja!

Ninja Leader: *shrug* Well we were planning on attacking Tokyo on an hour... I guess this gives us time to stop at Taco Bell...

Ninja 1: I do love me some Mexican food!

**Later At A Safe House For the Flock! **

Dr. Matinez (who from this point on will be known as Max's Mom because that'll be shorter to type): *is stuffing the flock with food*

Jeb: *is hoping that having full stomaches will confuse the flock into going to school* So I heard about a special school for people just like you guys.

Max: *is momentarily confused* -_- What? Wait no school! No School!

Fang: Would they happen to have cheerleaders there?

Iggy :*drools* cheerleaders...

Jeb: Probably...

Fang: I've decided I want to go to school!

Max: *glares at Jeb*

**Max Is Flying Alone At Night.... Because She's Decided To Be Suicidal?**

Ninjas (Now known as M-Geeks): *shoot Max out of the sky*

Max: *plummets to the ground*

**Max Is Captured By More Baddies! (because lots of people just don't like her...)**

M-Geeks: *have trampoline at the ready for falling Max* Mr. Chu wants to see you now!

Max: I don't have an appointment with Mr. Chu.... is he some sort of train you know Chu-chu?

M-Geek: -_- No...

Max: -_- Have you ever even seen a train...

M-Geek: *walks up to Max and knocks her out*

**(a little while later!)**

Mr. Chu: I told you not to kill her!

M-Geek Leader: She is not dead... we knocked her out, she implied we were stupid and called you a train...

Mr. Chu: WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT!

Max: *giggles* Because it sounds like a train!

Mr. Chu: *facepalm* Yes well we'd like you to join us!

Max: Do you have cookies?

Mr. Chu: Uhhh no...

Max: Well then I'm still on the side of good then because they have cookies for me...

Mr. Chu: ...we could get some?

Max: NOT AS GOOD AS MY MOM'S! PEACE OUT Y'ALL! *escapes*

M-Geek: ...did she just say y'all? As in like Texas...

Mr. Chu: Why did we want her on our side?

NEXT TIME! NUDGE DECLARES SHE'S A FREAK AND FANG AND MAX HAVE A CRAZY MAKE OUT SESSION!

~Gabby


	26. Chapter 26

A/N (A/N inside an A/N! this was supposed to be written and posted forever and a day ago but I fell asleep on the couch sooo it's up now...) Soooo here is the new chapter! I used Magical Flying Pie (wonderful name by the way) Emo Showdown idea, I used part of Zypher idea, I also used Caris L. Clearwater idea (Go Pikachu Go!)and part of Ailat's conversation after Max and Fang's crazy make session. In other wonderful news FANG is coming out March 15th, but that means no new chapter next week. :( You can keep suggesting ideas though! They might even get used and then I'll put your name in an A/N or maybe I'll make a new section near disclaimer titled THINGS I'VE STOLEN FROM OTHERS! Anyways thanks for the wonderful ideas, but before the chapter I'm putting in a semi-short story my friend Cassandra and I wrote. (This is because we're writing that story together and now you can read what we've worked on before together!) So here's the new chapter and here's Maximum Ride and the Water Cycle (A project we did for school on the water cycle).

* * *

MAXIMUM RIDE AND THE WATER CYCLE! (Note: This story had pictures to go along with it and was basically the best school project ever. And the words in bold are Cassandra's old A/N.)

**Okay so this is a story my friend Gabby and I wrote in science. We were supposed 2 write a short story about the water cycle and we could be as creative as we wanted : so we decided to use the Max Ride cast. They are a little OOC. But it was for school.**

There was a flock of bird kids flying in the sky. It started to rain so the oldest member made one of her famous quick decisions. "Alright guys find a cave. We need to land."

So the bird kids found a dry cave. Then the youngest member, Angel, was curious about the rain. "Max, can you explain the rain cycle to me?'

Max sighed. "Okay but Iggy and Fang have to help too," she said while smirking at them.

Iggy and Fang sighed too; they weren't very good at this stuff.

"Okay so up in the clouds there are raindrop armies and they are arch enemies with the ground. When the raindrops are in the clouds its called condensation," Iggy started.

"So when they have enough recruits they attack and beat the cr-butt out of the ground," Fang continued.

"And that's what you call precipitation," Max said glaring at Fang.

"Unfortunately the rain drops never win so they fall apart and form a puddle," Iggy said.

"That's called collection," said Max.

"After a while evaporation occurs and they turn into gas and their bodies float back to the clouds," Iggy said.

"And then it happens over and over again while irritating the bird kids who are trying to fly," said Fang.

"Oh I get it, "Angel said happily.

"What about the lightning?" Nudge asked

"Oh that's a totally different story,"Gazzy the eight year old said. "That's when the raindrops shoot the ground with their laser beams, right Ig?"

"Um, sure,"

**The end. Yeah I know it's kinda weird, but me and Gabby are weird so it's perfect for us.**

**

* * *

  
**

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Twilight, Star Wars, Pokemon, Area 51, Tasers, the United Nations, PowerPoint, Canada, or Sarah Palin.

Chapter Two~ Contains MR chapters 15 to 29

**At The Flock's New Safe House So Mr. Train Won't Find Them! **

Max's Mom: You can't fly for a week.

Max: Sooo two seconds?

Max's Mom: -_- No a week.

Ella: You can help us cook!

**In The Sky Above New Safe House! **

Fang: My Max-is-cooking-run-like-hell sense is tingling!

Angel: You have one of those?

Iggy: Original Fang didn't but Fang 2.0 does....

Gazzy: Why?

Iggy: You weren't around when Max first tried to cook.... *shudders* I can't even think about it.

**Back With Max!**

Max: -_- Fang's insulting me from afar...

Ella: We should make him eat your cooking!

Max's Mom: Yes! Then he will never become my son in law! *mumbles* The psychic has to be wrong!

Alice: *poofs in from Twilight* I'm never wrong! *poofs back to vampire land*

Max: Who was that?

Ella: *depressed* I didn't even get her autograph.

Max's Mom: No Ella she left it on the counter for you!

Ella: 0_o She is psychic...

**(Flock is back for dinner!)**

Max: I made goop for you!

Iggy: I think I'll just go find me a squirrel... *leaves*

Nudge: Hey Max did you have a good day I had a good day we flew around and around and we want to go to school and not just because Fang is forcing us to and we flew over this cactus and it was spiky so Gazzy threw Total at it an-

Max: Wait! Fang is doing what!

Fang: I am Overlord and I say we're leaving tomorrow!

**At A 'Special' School For The Flock In Cal-i-fornia! **

Max: Look a school, *turns around* let's fast forward to something more interesting now...

Nudge: I'm staying!

Max: Whatever, I'm going to South America then...

Fang: No! Nudge you can not be the one to split the flock apart! That's to emo for you! And emo is my thing!

Total: *announcer voice* Emo Showdown! In the right corner we have preppy-wanna-be-emo Nudge! And in the left corner we have loves-the-color-black-but-is-not-goth-and-already-the-most-emo-member-of-the-flock Fang!!

Nudge: *glares at Fang* Ahhhh I love bunnies and cotton candy and *bursts out in to sudden tears* why can't I be normal I'm such a freak... *tries to cut self with a crayon*

Fang: *glares at Nudge* My hair looks WON-DER-FUL today! *emo breakdown* WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY LOVE ME?!

Total: Fang wins!

Max: *facepalm*

**Later! In the desert! **

Max: Are you over your epic emo win?

Fang: 0_o never!

Max: Nudge wants to stay now! It's all your fault! *punches Fang*

Fang: NO! This is our epic make out session where you don't run away for once! *kisses Max*

Max: *kisses Fang*

Yoda: *suddenly appears because he's a Jedi and is allowed to do that* Max I am your voice and I'm here to tell you your mother is in danger.

Max: Not now, Yoda!

Yoda: *sighs* You leave me no choice Maximum! Your on Ash!

Ash: I choose you Pikachu! Quick lightning attack!

Fang: Wait, what are yo- *is hit by lightning* what the hell!

Max: Why Yoda! I was having a romantic moment!

Yoda: I know you don't have many of those but your mother has been captured!

Max: -_- I have plenty of romantic moments...

Yoda: *facepalm* Go save the flock!

**Back At A Safe House The 'Special' School Gave The Flock!**

Nudge: Max, because I know you're all happy because you just made out with Fang, and I'm going to ruin your moment and tell you your mom left us for the train.

Max: NO!

Fang: In other news there's a large army of crazy admiring robots here to tell me they loved my shampoo!

Gazzy: 0_o They're your fans?

Fang: Duh!

Gazzy: Uh-Oh, IGGY SHUT OFF THE GIANT ROBOT POPCORN MACHINE!

Iggy: I can't!

Robots: *are fried into popcorn*

Fang: *throws himself on to the ground* MY FANS!

Iggy: At least you had some -_-

**The Next Morning! (a car is coming to get the flock!)**

Brigid: I'm here!

Fang: -_- *drools* hot....

Max: I don't even understand!

**On A Military Jet To San Diego! **

Max: *depressed because Fang is paying attention to Brigid and not her*

Angel: It's okay Max, Fang loves you.

Max: He sure has a funny way of showing it... All he ever does is obsess over his hair and then throw himself at anything with red hair. -_-

Angel: Maybe you should hit him with something and he'd snap back into normal Fang. Who still obsesses over his hair but not girls with red hair...

Max: Thanks Angel, I'll try that!

**With The Flock And Some Military Peeps! **

Gazzy: Do you have bombs here?

Admiral: That's classified...

Total: Like Area 51?

Admiral: No Area 51 is top secret...

Iggy: It's not much of a secret because everyone knows where it is and that you keep aliens there.

Admiral: *Tasers Iggy*

Gazzy: You can't do that!

Admiral: *points Taser at Gazzy*

Gazzy: Never mind

Commander: We have information on the freaks mother!

Max: -_- Not a freak...

Commander: Luckily these terrorists are part of the United Nations so as regulation they had to send us a PowerPoint presentation on what they're doing! This way we know that they have kidnapped someone or if they get the sudden urge to blow up New York or something...

Max: I've decided I want to live somewhere with a smart government... like Canada...

Fang: Look I've written some stuff down on my hand so I can remember it! Sarah Palin has inspired me!

Nudge: Fang, your hand says: spend time Max and pizza...

Fang: Those are two of my favorite things!!!

Max: *facepalm and chants* Canada Canada Canada...

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK GOES TO HAWAII AND CONQUERS MILITARY TRAINING IN A FEW HOURS!

~Gabby


	27. Chapter 27

A/N Oh my, oh my this is being posted later then I wanted it to be. That's because I had to choose my classes for next year this week, it was awful. Then I almost got writer's block halfway through the chapter (the Beatles solved that for me) and the next new chapter will be posted again, not next week the week after... two weeks from now. And by then FANG will be out! Also the story I'm doing with my friend is on delay because she's been sick for like a crazy amount of time but that should be up soon but for now here's chapter three!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Subway, High School Musical, Twinkies, Dr. Phil, the US Navy, Christianity (??religion w/e), Bubblegum, Starbursts, NCIS, Youtube, Hulu, hide and go seek, or tag (as in 'your it').

Chapter Three~ Contains MR chapters 29 to 39

**With The Military!**

Max: *singing to herself* FIVE, FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG!

Fang: Aren't you concerned about your mother?

Max: Fang, have you ever been to Subway? They have the best commercials! They're like a High School Musical in 30 seconds or less!

Nudge: All they're missing is a Troy Bolton!

Fang: I could be Troy!

Angel: *giggles* You're not hot enough to be Troy, silly.

Iggy: -_- What's wrong with all of you?

Total: What's the matter with you Iggy! Haven't you ever had the undying need to suddenly burst into song when your feeling any kind of emotion?

Iggy: No...

Total: So that's only me... *shrugs (if dogs can do that..)* That's okay because YOU ARE THE MUSIC IN ME....

Gazzy: I don't understand why is no one worried about Max's mom...

Commander: Maximum would you like to know where your mother is? *shows flock video of Max's Mom on a boat*

Fang: 0_o She won a cruise that's sooo cool...

Commander: -_- she's not on a cruise, she is being held hostage.

Iggy: I bet she's getting better food then what we're getting.

Commander: -_- Somehow I don't think she is...

Admiral: Aren't we feeding them three square meals of Twinkies a day?

**On A Plane Headed To Hawaii!**

Angel: *looks around* Hey Max, where's Nudge?

Max: Remember she went back to the 'special' school in California.

Angel: ... Oh because I had this weird dream that you and Fang decided she talked to much and you locked her in a closet when we left....

Max: *nervous laugh* What Angel where do you get that idea...

Angel: Fang was thinking about it... that and how bad he's going to look in khaki...

Fang: -_- It's an awful color on me... purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red and pink also look really bad on me...

Gazzy: That leaves only black and white...

Fang: I know! My life is so hard!

Total: It really sucks that your mom's missing Max-

Fang: *shoves Total and sits down next to Max* I am future boyfriend I'll do all the consoling around here, Total!

Total: No offense Fang, but I'm great at therapy I'm like Dr. Phil, in your face!

Iggy: *facepalm*

**In Haw-a-ii!**

Lieutenant Khaki: No United States to United States come United States on United States board United States a United States Navy Vessel you United States must United States complete United States BS United States training!

Gazzy: Why'd you say United States between almost every word...

Iggy: I think it's a requirement when you join the army, navy or air force.

Max: BS training?

Angel: Does that stand for butterflies and swans, or maybe bees and seagulls or is i-

Fang: SHUT UP! IT DOESN'T STAND FOR SOMETHING CUTE AND CUDDLY! IT STAND FO-

Max: *knocks Fang out* No swearing... remember Fang you gave up swearing for Lent...

Total: I don't think he remembers anything Max he's unconscious...

Iggy: *to Lieutenant Khaki* So when do we start Bubblegum and Starburst training?

Angel: So that's what it stands for!

Max/ Fang: *facepalm*

**The Next Day! **

Military Dude: *barges into the flock's room* WAKE UP FREAKS IT'S TIME FOR BS!

Fang: o_0 It's only four in the morning....

Military Dude: ....and?

Fang: Do you want me to go homicidal or what?! I need at least twelve hours of beauty sleep a day! Why does no one understand that!

Max: *Gibb's slaps Fang* Shut up and come to BS training. *leaves*

Fang: *yells after her* Did our crazy make out session mean nothing to you!

Total: I didn't think it was that crazy...

Fang: Wait what? How would you know?

Total: I watched it on Youtube, duh Fang.

Angel: Oh Total why would you do that to yourself?

Iggy: Do what watch Max and Fang kiss badly?

Fang: -_-

Angel: No Youtube has really bad quality *shakes head* you should of Hulued it Total you know better.

Total: *nods* I do now.

Fang: I think I'm going to go to BS training...

**BS Which Starts In A Classroom! (I guess?) **

Fang: *groans and slides to floor near his desk* This khaki looks awful on me....

LTC Palmer: GET OFF THE GROUND SON!

Iggy: Fang he called you son! It's your dad!

Fang: *tries to hug LTC Palmer*

LTC Palmer: One step closer boy and I'll have to kill you.

Max: *drags Fang away* I don't think he's your dad Fang...

Gazzy: *shakes his head* why am I the only smart guy around here?

Iggy: *whispers* Puberty kills brain cells...

Angel: *whacks Iggy* No Max says it's because your emo idiots...

Fang: I'll be emo as long as Iggy is the idiot!

LTC Palmer: *facepalm*

**Self Defense AKA Max Kills Everyone In The Room! **

[This scene has been censored due to graphic violence...]

**Obstacle Course! **

Max: So we're just going to like fly over this now...

**Covert Ops! **

Gazzy: It's like a huge game of hide and go seek and tag put all together!

Soldiers: *on ground groaning in pain*

Max: Yes but when we tag others we normally aim higher.... and use our hands instead of you know our feet, Gazzy...

Gazzy: That's not how Fang taught me...

**Weapons Class! **

Iggy: o_o Is that an RPG?

LTC Palmer: Yes and no you can't play with it.

Iggy: Well then I'm just going to come back and steal it later...

Flock: *is escorted out of the weapons class*

**With Lieutenant Khaki! (---- :)This isn't even her real name)**

Lieutenant Khaki: You completed BS in five minutes?!

LTC Palmer: Well... sort of... The leader almost killed everyone in Self Defense Class-

Max: *scoffs* Almost, I put one guy in a coma and suddenly that's a bad thing...

LTC Palmer: They flew over the obstacle course, and used Covert Ops as a game...

Gazzy: Hey I own the world at hide and go seek tag!

LTC Palmer: -_- and the idiotic older one wanted to steal the weapons so they finished that one too.

Max: So we're allowed to rescue my mom now so I can have more fantastic cookies!

Lieutenant Khaki: No not 'til [insert complicated military time here].

Angel: o_0 What does that even mean?

NEXT TIME! MAX AND FANG GO ON A DATE AND ANGEL TRIES TO BECOME A SWIM INSTRUCTOR!

~Gabby


	28. Chapter 28

A/N Okayyyy I've finally written this awful chapter! It took me forever and it's short because I was like "THAT'S IT I'M DONE! IT'S GOING UP THE WAY IT IS!" I think I may have a mild form of writers block is really annoying. In other news I think I'll post another new chapter two week from now again. I'm trying to spread out the chapters so I don't end up with a huge gap that there's no chapter. Because I've basically caught up to the current books and sooo sooo soon I won't have anything to spoof at all! In other Maximum Ride news I've already finished FANG! I'm not writing anything on it in case anyone hasn't finished it yet, but I liked... most of it. In better Fanfiction news I almost have 300 review for this!! If I get 300 I might have to throw a party, dance around or do something crazy! Enjoy the new chapter, so sorry it's shorter then I meant it to be!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Subway, 2012 (the Mayan calender?), or Urban Dictionary.

Chapter Four~ Contains MR chapters 39 to 51

**At a Beach! **

Angel: You guys should really come and try to mutate some gills guys!

Max: I don't think so.

Fang: The water would mess up my hair...

Iggy: Yes Fang, and we're all soooo concerned about your hair...

Some boy: HEP ME I'M DROWNING!

Fang: Yes we all are!

Gazzy: Aren't you going to help the drowning boy?

Fang: Is he more important then my hair!!!

Max: *sighs* I'll go be a hero...

Fang: *looks around and sees Brigid* Oh Max, I'll help! *runs into water to look good in front off Brigid*

(Max and 'Fang' save the boy)

Brigid: Fang you're ahhhh-mazzing! *hugs Fang*

Max: -_- *walks away totally jealous*

Fang: *pushes Brigid away* Okay you made her jealous, now get off of me!

Brigid: o_0 What? *is still hugging Fang*

Fang: LET GO OF ME YOU CRAZY! *shoves Brigid to the ground and runs after Max* Heyyy I think we should go get something to eat...

Max: Why I think I'm going to go crawl into bed and starve to death...

Fang: Or you could go on a date with the wonderful me!

Max:.... I guess.

**Max and Fang on a Date? **

Max: Are you back to your normal Fangalicious self now?

Fang: I've decided to leave the weirdness to Ig from now on... *leans in to kiss Max*

Max: uhhh what are you doing?

Fang: Shut up! You kiss me and then robots attack us, so just do it!

Max and Fang: *kiss*

M-Geeks: Oh crap are we interrupting something?

Max: *whining* Why do you guys have to ruin everything!

M-Geeks: Well if your done we're just going to shoot at you now...

Fang: *shrugs* Yeah whatever... *throws Max over the side of a cliff and they both fly away*

M-Geek: .... I forgot they could do that....

**Back With the Rest of The Flock Minus Nudge! (they're underwater... the nerds..) **

Gazzy: Oh look a fish *touches fish*

Fish: HELL NO! YOU DID NOT JUST TOUCH ME! *stings Gazzy*

Gazzy: *shoots out of the ocean and collides with Nudge*

The Flock: (has a wonderful happy reunion and then rushes Gazzy back to the Navy because he's like dying).

**With the Doctor! **

Max: *jumping around* Hurry up and heal you loser! I just remembered we have to save my mother!

Gazzy: *wakes up* I feel like crap....

Max: Yes you're awake! Let's GOOOOOOOOO! *grabs Gazzy and drags him to the sub*

Fang: ..... well I guess we're leaving now.

**On a Sub! (no not like Subway...) **

Iggy: are you sure we should be in such a small space... aren't we all claustrophobic and afraid Gazzy will have one of his.... episodes....

Max: You're such a worrier Ig! Live a little maybe you should go smell a rose.... watch a sunset or something...

Iggy: *walks off grumbling* watch a sunset.... stupid... insensitive....

Nudge: GROSS! Gazzy was that you? Couldn't you have like held it in or something! *runs away*

Gazzy: Sorry!

Max: *holding nose* DON'T DO IT AGAIN! *looks around* hey where's Fang?

Angel: *points* he's over there... but it's not pretty, Max.

**With Fang! **

Fang: *in fetal position on ground rocking back and forth* The walls- they're getting closer. GET AWAY FROM MY HAIR! The walls to close- underwater. NO NOT MY HAIR TAKE MAX! Going to die on a sub....

Max: Well just come back and check on him later then...

Total: I'll stay....

Max: Okay whatever... *leaves with flock*

Fang: Don't wanna- get away- to much water...

Total: *pats (paws?) Fang's shoulder* It's okay buddy Total's here....

**With the Captain of the Sub! **

Captain: As you can see in this video your mother seems to be being held on a boat.

Max: 0_o Woah are those fish on that boat?

Angel: But they're all dead!

Nudge: IT WAS A MASS SUCIDE! 2012 IS UPON US! RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIVES!

Captain: I don't know how to respond to that....

Iggy: -_- Just don't, I find it better to ignore them at moments like this. If Total were here he'd back me up. Right Gazzy?

Gazzy: *is licking the video screen*

Iggy: Right, I think I'll just go find Fang...

**With Mr. Chu-Chu Train! **

Mr. Chu: They escaped?

Assistant: ...erm yes Mr. Chu about four chapters ago... You remember the emo one and the one who can't decide her hair color were on a date...

Mr. Chu: Emo? Hair color?

Assistant: Well yes sir, the girl Max likes to say her hair is both blonde and brown... I suppose it could be both and emo meaning emotional, bipolar, showing no emotion, cutting yourself... I could get the Urban Dictionary out if you'd like...

Mr. Chu: ...well I have been pondering over the precise meaning of yo lately....

**Later! **

Max: I can't breath! The walls they're closing in! What's going why am I freaking out!

The Voice: Uh Oh looks like whatever the hell Fang had was contagious. You better go lie down Max. I'll send Total to look after you...

Max: *is trying to sleep after freak attack*

Total: *jumps on top of Max* Hey Max I hear through the grapevine of voices in others heads that you have Fang's crazy sickness. I'll just stay here 'til it fades away...

**5 Minutes Later! **

Total: And I was all like 'well get married whenever the hell I feel like it.' I mean she's just so controlling Max, but I can't live without her! And now she's back in Arizona and I'm all the way over here how are we ever going to get through this?

Max: *has her pillow over her head* Total could you go talk to someone else for a while.

Total: But Maaaaaaaaaaax you're the understanding one.

NEXT TIME! MAX GETS INTO AN EVEN SMALLER SUB AND ANGEL SWIMS WITH THE FISHIES!

~Gabby


	29. Chapter 29

A/N Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! This was supposed to go up last week! But there are many lovely good reasons why I didn't and if you follow my Twitter you'd already know that. A few of them include New England becoming part of the ocean and everything flooding, me being sick while everything was flooding and school, awful awful school. So this is getting up a little later then it should be. But that's not exactly important because it's updated now! I think the only thing left I have to say is that one of my reviewers (Caris L. Clearwater) gave me a wonderful (or possibly horrible depending on your opinion) idea! They think I should try and spoof other series/ stories. So I figured I'd put it to a vote. So when you review for this chapter write down a book you'd like to see spoofed and then I'll put up a poll over on my profile of all the suggested books (and a few I'll add myself) where you can vote on what you want to see me write next. The poll won't be up for a week or so you'll have plenty of time to review. Also I'd like to say the next chapter won't be coming out tell May 5th. Which is like a month away and I know it's such a long time! But I have to push it out that far because I have nothing left after Max, but Fang to spoof and I want to give people more time to read it. So the first spoofed Fang chapter will probably be up in June... Lastly I think I have like 10 review tell 300! So let's try to get that! I think that's it besides the fact that this chapter is basically unedited because my brother didn't have time to look it over. So you can complain about my awful spelling and grammar in your reviews!

DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: The Little Mermaid ( or any of the lovely songs that go with that movie), The Martha Stewart Show, Call of Duty, American Idol, Mariah Carrey, Lady Gaga, Battleship, Miley Cyrus, karaoke, Terminator, Dance Dance Revolution, or Sea World.

Chapter Five~ Contains MR chapters 51 to 59.

**Still In a Sub! **

Nudge: *twirls* I feel like a mermaid! Don't you feel like a mermaid Max! Oh I feel like Ariel from The Little Mermaid! I just loved that movie didn't you Max! I want to be like a fish and be able to swim underwater! Or better yet UNDER THE SEA!

Max: *is a sickly green color*......*groan*

Total: Shhhhh Nudge! She's not completely over her crazy sickness that she got from Fang yet.

Fang: *poofs into the room* That's right I'm contagious! Watch out I'm dangeeeeerous! *poofs out*

Nudge: 0_o Wow that was weird...

**[Insert Awkward Silence Here]**

Nudge: ... I think next time we meet a crazy scientist I'm going to ask them to turn me into a mermaid. *skips out of the room singing* Under the sea, Under the sea, Darling it's better, Down where it's wetter, Take it from me!

Max: *groans* That awful song. The walls! Closer!.... Under the sea!

Captain: *talking over the intercom* We'll be surfacing soon. To pick up another unessential character.

Total: *claps paws together* Oh goodie! I needed another unessential character to show my new knitting patterns to! I mean after Ari died no one appreciated them any more... and I just got some new lovely ones from the Martha Stewart Show last week! Love you Martha! *looks back at Max* You're on you're own kid. *trots out of the room*

**Later! **

Captain: Hey Max we want you to get on an even smaller sub! And you can go with that nonessential character we just picked up!

Max: *is still green* I'm not sure I want too.

Captain: *picks Max up and throws her into the smaller sub* Well that's to bad! Because it's your freaking mother we're looking for and I'm not getting paid enough to be in this damn book! *slams the door to the smaller sub shut* I hope you have a nice trip you freak!

**In the Itsy-Bitsy Submarine! **

Nonessential Character Named Dr. Akana: *looks at Max* Gross you look sick. Stay away!

Max: I hate all of you... *spots Angel swimming around the sub* Oh look it's that little girl I consider a daughter and call an angel, but she's really a spawn of Satan.... I wonder if she's related to Fang in anyway....

Dr. Akana: *screams* That little girl is going to drown!!! Or perhaps the laws of physics will actually begin to effect her! Then the water pressure might crush her or she'll freeze to death!

Max: *gives Dr. Akana an all knowing look* Sorry to tell you doctor. But we're all in a book and Angel's not going to die from the water pressure. It's one of these cool things called a plot hole, make sure you don't fall into one....

Dr. Akana: A whaaaaaaaaaaaaa*falls into plot hole*

Max: Bye bye. *waves goodbye to Dr. Akana*

**Back On the Bigger Sub! **

Angel: Look Max I found a fish will I was in the water! *holds out fish*

Gazzy: Uh-oh... *tries to back away from fish*

Fish: Hell no! It's that same kid from Hawaii!

Angel: You two know each other?

Gazzy: *screams and runs away* It's back!

Fish: *jumps out of Angel's hand and flops after Gazzy* Get back here and face me like a man!

Iggy: This day can not get any weirder.

Brigid: *sneaks up behind Fang* Oh my gosh Fang, you should totally ditch Max for me!

Fang: Go away I'm busy.

Brigid: 0_o Okay I guess I'll leave then. I'll just have to eat my bacon alone then...

Total: Oh no, don't do it Fang! The bacon of Satan is not worth it! Resist the call of greasy meat!

Fang: *twitching* I-can't-need-bacon! *runs after Brigid* I love you Max, but you're nothing compared to bacon!

Max: -_- I'm second to fatty food...

Nudge: That's okay Max! You're one step ahead of most girls! Most guys like Call of Duty, fatty foods aka bacon, and then their girlfriends! So you're doing great!

Total: Okay I take offense to that! Not all guys love Call of Duty and food! I don't put Akila behind Call of Duty or food!

Iggy: That's because you don't have thumbs...

Total: -_- and you don't have eyes. Don't mess with me blind boy, I'll take you down!

Iggy: Bring it on dog! *jumps Total*

**Later! (the flock has gone insane from being in the sub and apparently Iggy and Fang are practicing for American Idol. )**

Fang: Why you so obsessed with me?

Iggy: Boy I want to know!

Max: Why are the two of you singing Lady Gaga?

Fang & Iggy: *look insulted* It's Mariah Carrey, Max!

Iggy: We're MEN Max! We can't listen to any of you're techno-pop crap! We're MEN!

Fang: MEN!

Total: *muttering* You could've fooled me.

Max: Those two are going to get their man cards taken away if we're on this sub much longer.

Gazzy: 0_o We've got to get out of this sub.

Nudge: I want to sing "Under the Sea" again! Whose with me!

Nudge, Iggy & Fang: Under the sea, Under the sea, Darling it's better, Down where it's wetter, Take it from me!

(The sub suddenly spins around as a giant mutant squid crashes into it!)

Angel: It's like a carousel, Max! Or a giant ferris wheel! Let's do it again!

Max: *is green* I'm going to go throw up and then come back.... Total's in charge. *runs off*

**Five Minutes Later! **

Max: I'm back with a plan and donuts!

Flock: *tackles Max*

Max: So the plan is I'm going to go in the teeny sub with Gazzy and an explosive you guys stay here!

Flock: *is hypnotized by the magical power of donuts* Yes fearless leader, forge onward win us more donuts.

Max: Gazzy come with me and bring a big bomb!

Gazzy: 0_o Will there be donuts?

Max: *sigh* sure.

**On the Smaller Sub! **

Gazzy: Do you even know how to drive this thing?

Max: Sure I took classes online... and I've played Battleship!

Gazzy: Look it's Angel defying the laws of nature as we know them, again!

Max: Look M-Geeks! I'm going to ram them!

Gazzy: Angel's in the way though...

Max: So?

Gazzy: ....

M-Geeks: Look a jellyfish... *float away*

Max: *sigh* I suppose I'll just have to kill her another time.

Gazzy: What?!

Max: -_-Nothing....

**Back On the Big Sub! **

Fang: So you didn't accomplish anything?

Max: No.

Fang: That's hot...

Max: o_0 What's wrong with you *tries to run away from Fang*

A Mutant Mountain Sea Monster Thingy: *rams the sub* BAAAAAM! I'm here! I heard there was a hoedown throw down going on! I brought my Miley Cyrus CD and some crazy karaoke!

Nudge: We're going to die! We're going to die! We're going to die!

A Mutant Mountain Sea Monster Thingy: Gosh darn it! I'm not the Terminator! I don't want to kill you! I just want to have a dance off!

Angel: Oh Max can we please, oh please go play Dance Dance Revolution with the monster! And then I can take it home and keep it! I promise I'll feed it I promise!

Max: Absolutely not!

Captain: We're evacuating the sub because blondie's new pet thought it was a chew toy...

Angel: I'll train her Max! Then she'll be good and not attack military vessels and I can have pool parties and invite my friends and I can ride her around like Shamu at Sea World!

Iggy: This is not going to end well...

Angel: *bambi eyes* Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please!

Total: Can we talk after we're off the freaking sub! I swear they teach you children nothing in school these days! I just had to give Iggy and Fang 'the talk' last night!

Fang: You wouldn't believe the things I've learned...

NEXT TIME! THE FLOCK ACTUAL GETS SOMEWHERE IN SAVING MAX'S MOM AND BECOME PART FISH!

~Gabby


End file.
